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Confused To Step Up As Worship Leader

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  • Confused To Step Up As Worship Leader

    I am the lead guitarist of the church band. Our worship leader/band vocalist is leaving in a month to another country. So far, no one likes to step up as worship leader... EXCEPT ME. However, my wife thinks I am not ready. Nobody else has told me to be the worship leader (we are a small church and I don't think anybody is concerned about the internal issues of the band, I know it's not really internal) but I think I can do it. Somehow the pastor is not actively looking for a replacement worship leader, perhaps he was thinking I would solve the issue as I am the band leader also (the vocalist just sings the songs but I get to pick the songs and organize the band).

    That is my challenge as my wife doesn't think I'm good enough. Let me share a background of my singing:

    During my elementary years, I somehow won our class's singing competition and represented the class for inter-class competition (I lost, coz I didn't dance while singing ). Since 2 or 3 years ago, some friends in church invited me to join the choir because they think I have a good voice (not great). This year, I finally heeded the invitation and throughout the year was tasked by the choir director to do solo parts. Both times, I declined, I wasn't ready. One choir mate told me that I had a beautiful voice, to encourage me perhaps (I told her, I know that).

    I want to step up and be the worship leader but my wife thinks I'm not ready. What should I do? Thanks.

    Edit: I know worship leading is more than singing. I have already led a sunday service before - not singing, but calling the congregation to worship, "emcee" the whole sunday service, leading sunday service prayers, etc.
    Last edited by tonev; 09-02-2017, 02:17 AM.

  • #2
    Wise decisions are made on our knees. Praise your way through it.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Shack4Tom View Post
      Wise decisions are made on our knees. Praise your way through it.
      This is so deep, I can't comprehend it.

      Comment


      • #4
        We have a man and wife, from day one when they started attending our church, would give praise to the Lord. Standing at the alter through the entire music-worship of the service (it mattered not that their arms were tired they had arms raised high. They (4 years later) are now elders at our church. Oh yeah the pastor took great care in the other things like criminal record check and checking the tithes records, calling references, etc.
        "John and Judy" wasn't looking for a promotion it just happened that way.
        Feeling the Spirit, you might set your guitar to the side and do the same.
        If you were the pastor would you want someone who could hold a tune and quench the Spirit or possibly a willing vessel to spark a revival?
        I hope this helps and you get the position but also you would find a higher level in Christ. Remember when the prophet wanted to anoint the next king, little David was attending the sheep but his brothers were already there. Looking back we know who was the chosen one.

        "This is so deep, I can't comprehend it. " In James we read if we would just ask for wisdom it would be granted.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Shack4Tom View Post
          We have a man and wife, from day one when they started attending our church, would give praise to the Lord. Standing at the alter through the entire music-worship of the service (it mattered not that their arms were tired they had arms raised high. They (4 years later) are now elders at our church. Oh yeah the pastor took great care in the other things like criminal record check and checking the tithes records, calling references, etc.
          "John and Judy" wasn't looking for a promotion it just happened that way.
          Feeling the Spirit, you might set your guitar to the side and do the same.
          If you were the pastor would you want someone who could hold a tune and quench the Spirit or possibly a willing vessel to spark a revival?
          I hope this helps and you get the position but also you would find a higher level in Christ. Remember when the prophet wanted to anoint the next king, little David was attending the sheep but his brothers were already there. Looking back we know who was the chosen one.

          "This is so deep, I can't comprehend it. " In James we read if we would just ask for wisdom it would be granted.

          Thank you for your wise words. It's great help.

          I guess I'm in a unique situation because, in my case, THE PASTOR RELIES ON ME to find that replacement worship leader. So my problem is that I'm looking around the church for that worship leader and nobody wants to step up. Don't get me wrong, I prefer to be on the sidelines of a worship team (even if I am the the one organizing practice and picking the songs and thinking of the arrangement). However, if no one wants to step up, I am willing to step up for the Lord.

          In other words, if no one will step up, I will step up by "PROMOTING" MYSELF, but then again, my wife thinks I'm not ready.

          Edit: Great quote on James. Believe me, I am praying everyday for guidance.

          Comment


          • #6
            Hey Tonev,

            I apologize in advance, but going to ask yourself to ask some candid questions

            You say your wife doesn't think you're ready- what do YOU think? With all due respect, at the end f the day, it's not her decision. It's ours.

            I will be the first to say that wives are awesome. They can bring perspective we don't have as men and help us make good decisions and prevent bad ones. This is because in a biblical marriage, there are two main elements. One, the man is the 'head of the household'- meaning, he carries the burden of responsibility for the spiritual and physical health of his family relationships. We hear the verse all the time about how a Godly marriage places husband is the head of the family like Christ is the head of the church. The other main element is that a Godly wife will hold the most powerful and significant influence on a husband's decisions. These complement each other very well. A husband relies on his wife to be a sanity check, for lack of a better term. That's why these kinds of decisions are so tough when you feel one thing and your wife feels something different.

            The good thing- wives can (and usually do) keep us men on the right path through their influence. The bad- our wives can sometimes cause us to make the wrong decisions based on their influence. I once heard a famous preacher of 40 years who has started many churches make a telling comment- "God has lost more good men to women than He ever has the Devil." Meaning, he has seen wives be a negative influence and cause good men to leave the Ministry, not serve where they should, etc. and it hasn't worked out well for them. This is a reality we have to face- not all decisions our wives push us towards are the right ones.

            Sometimes our wives can be influenced by the enemy to steer us away from God's will. Consider, for example, the story of Adam and Eve. Satan's goal was to get Adam and Eve to sin- to disobey God. Notice that Satan didn't go to Adam and say, "did God really say not to eat that?" He went to Eve- got Eve persuaded to take a bite, and Eve influenced Adam to take a bite. You know the rest. The lesson of that story, at least for me, is that the enemy can and will use our wives against us, especially when what we are doing has a positive kingdom impact.

            Not saying your wife is possessed by the devil- saying you and her have to actively seek out God and resist the devil.

            In your discussions, has she given you sound reasons why she thinks you are not ready? Try to get to the root of her concerns. Is it something she sees that's a red flag? Does she think you are being set up to fail? Or, is it maybe she's not ready to be a worship leader's wife? Maybe something else she isn't divulging?

            Once you answer those questions, that will give you more perspective on what the real issue is.

            Also- for what it's worth, you will never be 100% 'ready'. This is where you step out in faith and trust God to guide your path. If it's His will, He won't let you fail.
            If we want to go places we haven't been, we will have to do things we haven't done.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Mike on Bass View Post
              Hey Tonev,

              I apologize in advance, but going to ask yourself to ask some candid questions

              You say your wife doesn't think you're ready- what do YOU think? With all due respect, at the end f the day, it's not her decision. It's ours.

              I will be the first to say that wives are awesome. They can bring perspective we don't have as men and help us make good decisions and prevent bad ones. This is because in a biblical marriage, there are two main elements. One, the man is the 'head of the household'- meaning, he carries the burden of responsibility for the spiritual and physical health of his family relationships. We hear the verse all the time about how a Godly marriage places husband is the head of the family like Christ is the head of the church. The other main element is that a Godly wife will hold the most powerful and significant influence on a husband's decisions. These complement each other very well. A husband relies on his wife to be a sanity check, for lack of a better term. That's why these kinds of decisions are so tough when you feel one thing and your wife feels something different.

              The good thing- wives can (and usually do) keep us men on the right path through their influence. The bad- our wives can sometimes cause us to make the wrong decisions based on their influence. I once heard a famous preacher of 40 years who has started many churches make a telling comment- "God has lost more good men to women than He ever has the Devil." Meaning, he has seen wives be a negative influence and cause good men to leave the Ministry, not serve where they should, etc. and it hasn't worked out well for them. This is a reality we have to face- not all decisions our wives push us towards are the right ones.

              Sometimes our wives can be influenced by the enemy to steer us away from God's will. Consider, for example, the story of Adam and Eve. Satan's goal was to get Adam and Eve to sin- to disobey God. Notice that Satan didn't go to Adam and say, "did God really say not to eat that?" He went to Eve- got Eve persuaded to take a bite, and Eve influenced Adam to take a bite. You know the rest. The lesson of that story, at least for me, is that the enemy can and will use our wives against us, especially when what we are doing has a positive kingdom impact.

              Not saying your wife is possessed by the devil- saying you and her have to actively seek out God and resist the devil.

              In your discussions, has she given you sound reasons why she thinks you are not ready? Try to get to the root of her concerns. Is it something she sees that's a red flag? Does she think you are being set up to fail? Or, is it maybe she's not ready to be a worship leader's wife? Maybe something else she isn't divulging?

              Once you answer those questions, that will give you more perspective on what the real issue is.

              Also- for what it's worth, you will never be 100% 'ready'. This is where you step out in faith and trust God to guide your path. If it's His will, He won't let you fail.

              Thank you for this, Mike. You are very right about the Adam and Eve analogy. My wife and I just discussed this yesterday, the devil tempting the wife to disrupt the ministry of the husband, and we weren't even talking about worship leading.

              From our discussions before, I can deduce that she fears I am set up to fail (though she didn't say that directly). Our current worship leader has such a great voice, it would be a tough act to follow (she also didn't say this directly). And you are right about saying I will never be 100% ready. I know this myself. I will have mistakes, sure, but I will learn from it. I have learned just recently that fearing to fail is pride. Fear to show people our mistakes is just wrong. God qualifies the called, not calls the qualified!

              Really, thank you, Mike. I'm glad you just confirmed what I have been feeling about this issue all along. I will seek more guidance from God about this but at least now, I just realized who the real enemy is (again).

              Comment


              • #8
                Tonev,

                It's not unusual for a husband and wife to feel differently about ministry callings. It doesn't necessarily mean Satan is using one party; it might just mean there is a difference of opinion. Sometimes time resolves this, if you can openly discuss your motives and fears with one another. Sometimes the passing of time is a confirmation of a calling, especially if the urge to minister persists for years. A desire for ministry that does not go away is likely to be of God.

                I've struggled with worship leading myself over the years. I found one of the best ways to reconcile a calling to worship leading with myself - and with a spouse - is to give it a trial run. Have a go for, say, 3 months and get candid feedback from your wife, band and pastor. Even if you're not ready, 3 months will give everyone an idea of whether you're capable of growing into the role. It's a lot easier than having all the answers upfront.

                It may be part of your role to raise up other leaders as well. Who knows, you might fil the role temporarily and then give it to someone else. There's nothing wrong with that. It's all valid experience in worship ministry and sometimes our roles do change over time.

                All the best,
                Steffie.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Steffie View Post
                  Tonev,

                  It's not unusual for a husband and wife to feel differently about ministry callings. It doesn't necessarily mean Satan is using one party; it might just mean there is a difference of opinion. Sometimes time resolves this, if you can openly discuss your motives and fears with one another. Sometimes the passing of time is a confirmation of a calling, especially if the urge to minister persists for years. A desire for ministry that does not go away is likely to be of God.

                  I've struggled with worship leading myself over the years. I found one of the best ways to reconcile a calling to worship leading with myself - and with a spouse - is to give it a trial run. Have a go for, say, 3 months and get candid feedback from your wife, band and pastor. Even if you're not ready, 3 months will give everyone an idea of whether you're capable of growing into the role. It's a lot easier than having all the answers upfront.

                  It may be part of your role to raise up other leaders as well. Who knows, you might fil the role temporarily and then give it to someone else. There's nothing wrong with that. It's all valid experience in worship ministry and sometimes our roles do change over time.

                  All the best,
                  Steffie.
                  You are right about a lot of things:

                  1. "Crediting" Satan.
                  2. Passing Time
                  3. Trial Run
                  4. Temporary Role / Raise Up Other Leaders

                  Except #1, I've thought of those things too. Thank you so much for your wise input, Steffie!

                  Comment

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