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What would you do?

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  • What would you do?

    If a guitarist threw a temper tantrum during sound-check on a Sunday morning what would you do?

    There are so many different factors that play into this situation but the bottom line is this: Someone allowed pent up frustrations to get to them and blew up. Would any worship leader want that to carry over into the day's worship service? Does any worship leader want to have to say to a team member, "I'm the leader, please follow me"? A long history of conflict and frustrations precluded this situation, mostly caused by ignorance of how things are to operate and also a bit of frustration with lack of natural talent. Does any leader want his team so scared of him that they don't share their dreams and their frustrations? Of course not. But how in the world do you establish the proper chain of command while welcoming team work?

  • #2
    I see you are in Iowa. I can't answer your question. But can offer that you can come help us out in Iowa Falls. We can use another instrumentalist.
    Seriously. If it were a one time deal ofcourse I comfort them and get em a cup of coffee. Sounds like this is a lingering battle then its time to say lets all sit and talk and figure this thing out. It will not get better by itself.
    I didn't mean to be inaccurate, but I wasn't trying to be precise.

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    • #3
      it really depends, but at the least I would have pulled the person aside immediately and had a private conversation. He would need to apologize to those who experienced his outburst immediately after our conversation as well.

      Nate
      Practical Worship

      Please Pray For My Wife

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      • #4
        Thanks for the invite but I am committed to stay where I am. It has been a battle of wills for a very long time. BTW I quietly dismissed that person on the spot. Thank the Lord our team was very small that day..we had just been to Winter Jam the night before. My Pastor was not very happy that it happened but he does agree that that person should be encouraged to pursue ministry in other areas. I hurt deeply for this person but this is a time when they are going to need to seek God's comfort and guidance and I will do best to move out of the way. We had an amazing worship/practice tonight and it was stress free for the first time in a loooong time.

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        • #5
          I find it interesting that nobody else has mentioned that this person should apologize. I've been the one pressured by our leadership to make the apology. When in fact I calmly did what I felt led to do. hmmmm very interesting

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          • #6
            I would have mentioned it, but I thought it didn't need to be said. I belive you were right in dismissing that person. I would have.

            Smitty
            Love ONE woman...MANY guitars!

            www.davidsproblem.wordpress.com

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            • #7
              I think my first reaction would have been to let him/her go right away, however without having a wider picture I am just speculating.

              Some thoughts come to mind, I hope you don't mind sharing some insights.

              You said there is a long history of conflict, were these addressed promptly as they developed?

              Was the ignorance of how thing are to operate also addressed?

              Was the potential for the lack of natural talent to be overcame or improved upon, or was this person a lost case in this department? I have seen both scenarios. I have also seen some worship houses that adhere to a rule where anyone playing has to be quite experienced and I have seen houses where a less knowledgeable person is allowed to join and stay as long as progress is being made.

              If this person was "teachable" did the team have any programs in place to have the more experienced musicians nurture the less experienced? perhaps in the form of workshops?

              I hope my questions do not come across as confrontational, I am just curious. I have a friend in Florida that is going through some rough times in his team, he's continuously reaching out to me for input. He's pretty much on the other side of the coin, not a lot of experience and frustrated to the point of wanting to quit. Not throwing tantrums though, but keeping quiet which I think is just as bad.

              I would greatly appreciate your input.

              Mark.
              Miguel.

              Comment


              • #8
                Thank you for your questions. I don't find them confrontational at all. The first sign of trouble was years ago when this guitarist played Chris Tomlin's Amazing Grace. They tried to stay in 3/4 as the traditional Amazing Grace is sung. We were in a group setting with many vocalists struggling to sing it as they played since they had heard his arrangement prior to the practice. Not wanting to cause this person embarassment after the practice I stayed around and tried to gently lead this person into the "new" time signature. The response to that was "well this is the way I do it, you just want it done YOUR way.". I forgave this kind of behavior for a quite a while and we had many meetings in our Pastor's office concerning all kinds of matters. Most of them being that I just wanted my own way. This person struggles a bit with OCD and some depression issues so we have been handling the behavior with as much gentleness as possible. As new members were added to our band, they began to feel that this guitarist intensely disliked how they played...and it would be voiced to me about how "bad" they were or how they just "want to be rock stars". I was actually going to go for a final time to our pastor and ask that I have the freedom to quietly dismiss this person as they were chasing off members of our praise team by their behavior at practice and on Sundays. So the answer is this person has been unteachable when it comes to hearing guidance from me.

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                • #9
                  Thanks for your reply. I am fortunate, I play in a team that has a very talented leader and some very talented musicians. We follow the leader and in turn he constantly ask us for input. I think throwing a tantrum just before the server was very selfish and it sounds from your reply that this has been going on for too long.

                  Good luck.

                  Mark.
                  Miguel.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    It sounds like you did the right thing.

                    I'm all about extending grace to people because we all come from somewhere and are in a different place in our walk. But, there comes a time when someone is abusing the grace being shown them, and changes need to be made. I don't care what team you are, the 'hang' is just as important as the 'talent'. I don't care if you can make Lincoln Brewster, Eric Clapton and Phil Keaggy sound like amateurs- if you can't act like a considerate adult, you don't need to be on the platform. There is no room for someone consistently brooding around the platform creating strife while refusing to recognize your 'office' as team leader.

                    If this has been going on for 'years', it sounds like you've made the right choice.

                    Hope things can move forward for your team. Hopefully the person comes to their senses and realizes that they had it coming and can make amends.
                    If we want to go places we haven't been, we will have to do things we haven't done.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Under those circumstances, I might have punched him in the mouth, lifted his shirt over his head, and kicked his keister all the way out the door.

                      Sounds like you were gracious....




                      :-)



                      .
                      8-)



                      what? me worry?

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