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What's your experience with Husband/Wife team leadership?

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  • What's your experience with Husband/Wife team leadership?

    My hubby and I are considering presenting ourselves as a "package" - with his musicianship and my singing and our songwriting together - we think it could work.

    What is your experience with husband/wife teams? Or what do you think?

  • #2
    Great question. I am glad you are considering this. This can be a fruitful thing to do together. The blessing of communication and intimacy with writing and praying together for the ministry God is leading you into is an awesome thing.

    With that said, expect opposition. Maybe from potential employers, but often more from the team members you will be working with. It is very easy (unfortunately in my experience with ladies on my ministry teams) for others to be jealous or feel that you are treated differently than the others. you have to work hard not to do this, but you have to also expect that some will feel this way.

    I am a Worship Pastor and although my wife is not employed with me, she is very much a part of my ministry. She works things through with me, we write together, we dream together and we seek God together. I have been challenged to not treat my wife differently than others becasue the reality is that she is one of th team members. She has been extremely humble and wise in being a team member and also my wife and weighing that all through.

    All in all, there are challenges, but they never outweigh the blessing!

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    • #3
      Every hear of Watermark? Oh yeah. I dig it. Go for it.

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      • #4
        My wife and I actively lead and serve together, as well as independently of each other. Depends on the need of the situation, and this fits our particular ministry model of consulting. I would agree that most employers (churches) will resist paying for two people, or will have great expectations for one or the other of the couple to "volunteer just like everyone else."

        I would encourage you to always make these decisions in light of your God-given priorities. Overall this means God first, family second, then everything else. Be sure you and your spouse are clear on your commitments to God and each other, then make careful commitments to ministry. As employers, churches do not necessarily have great track records. There are some fine institutions to work for out there, and there are many that are not...

        Beyond that, use the gifts God gave you. That's what you're responsible for, and He expects you to give it your best.

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        • #5
          Thanks everyone for the response to this.

          We are considering doing fill-in work at churches, and interim or guest music - I think there is a need for that.

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          • #6
            You're not near Louisiana are you

            When I'm out of town I get a couple who are friends of ours, he leads and plays guitar and his wife sings lead and harmonies. It has been incredible to hear them/see them together leading worship with our band. It's totally unique. Because they are so insync with one another it's just beautiful and knowing they're husband and wife is just great!

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            • #7
              No, but we do travel!

              It's funny how that works - as a team you just know when the song is ending and where it is going with each other.

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              • #8
                I lead worship and my wife is on the team. I don't know if that counts. She's definitely an asset. She's a much better vocalist than I am so she helps a lot with harmonies. She's also about the only one that will actually give me any type of criticism, which is helpful....and humbling .

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                • #9
                  sorry ya'll ... but I gotta tell ya .. there is NO WAY I could lead worship w/ my wife ... she's much TOO HOT ... and I'd be distracted.

                  Gosh, I can't even look at her in the crowd ...

                  Seriously (I am being serious) ... she's a passionate worshiper, so I do glance her way now and then to be encouraged by the response .. but whoa ... I'd quickly find myself forgetting the song!
                  Fred McKinnon, Pianist/Composer/Worship Leader
                  blog: www.fredmckinnon.com

                  Please check out my piano/instrumental music at:
                  www.soundcloud.com/FredMcKinnonMusic
                  www.youtube.com/c/FredMcKinnonMusic

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                  • #10
                    Saint Lewis

                    Honestly, though my wife is almost always 'on my team' (she's a keyboardist & an alto) when I lead, we usually only co-lead when we're playing out as Saint Lewis and doing our original songs. I really enjoy it because we have VERY DIFFERENT gifts - I play rhythm acoustic guitar best, but her most natural instrument is the keys - I'm a tenor, she's an alto - She focuses more on arranging vocals, where I LOVE working with the band - I'm the stronger vocalist (Can I say that? She'd agree), but she's a better 'exhorter' and is what I'd call 'prophetic' when she leads: when she speaks while on stage, it's from GOD, and powerful! Sincerely, it's an HONOR and a privilege to write, record, and play with her! Love that girl!

                    But yeah - the 'opposition' part: I guess it depends on the church. Some churches are only interested in having you minister if you wife comes 'with the package' - for them, it shows unity between the two of you. However, I have also been told at times "we're not talking about your wife's involvement here, but yours". In both cases, however, I've been able to minister with her at my side. It really depends on the type of church/ministry you're dealing with as to how to present yourselves, I guess.
                    Last edited by SaintLewis; 08-30-2007, 03:54 PM.

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                    • #11
                      So for me, my wife served alongside me for 14 years while I was on staff at a local church. She was always on the team as pianist and vocalist, while I led from the keyboard (yeah, we often had dueling keyboards, but we learned how to make it work). It was a given at that church, that I was the Worship Pastor and she could volunteer on the team. As a pastor's wife, however, there were certain expectations placed upon her when it came to women's ministry stuff. She often would lead worship in that realm.

                      Since resigning from that position, we now are partners in ministry -- our work in Ireland as well as when we lead worship in our home church in FL or elsewhere. We both felt compelled (in our early 40's) to take up the guitar, as it was much easier to transport. So now when we lead worship, just the two of us, it will usually be one on guitar and one on keyboard/piano.

                      All that to say -- we love working together like this. I know that there is the potential for struggles if the perception of relative talent differs from one another. I know for me, after being the leader for so long, I sometimes don't think about it and railroad through her input and act like I'm the one in charge, when we are supposed to be sharing the role.

                      I'm just rambling here. My wife calls it Garyland. Glad you could join me in my little corner of the world.

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                      • #12
                        We're A Team

                        My wife Anna and I were hired as a husband/wife team. We've been doing this full-time for five years, part-time two years prior to that.
                        I personally have found a few things to be true:
                        1) I believe there is a male/female component in "the image of God" as presented in Scripture. I have found that this is somehow communicated as we worship. I can't explain it or break it down any more than that. It's just there.
                        2) We plan and prepare as much as we can. Yet every Sunday, if there's an opportunity for the Spirit to move, one or the other of us usually catches it, which is really cool. Often I'll think 'we need to stop and pray here', and Anna will immediately start praying. Or I'll find out later that after I went into an unplanned song, she was thinking the same thing.
                        3) We now have twice as many opportunities to get hacked off at each other. Also twice as many opportunities to argue. It's a danger. Thank God for good Christian counseling.

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                        • #13
                          did you offer a combined resume or two seperate ones?

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                          • #14
                            They weren't looking for a team. After meeting us, they hired us. Frankly, I don't remember giving the church a resume at all...

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