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"Into the Beautiful" theme: heaven

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  • "Into the Beautiful" theme: heaven

    Here's a work in progress pop song...would appreciate constructive critique! Obviously it's a rough demo--not the final arrangement/instrumentation/etc.
    thanks

    Into the Beautiful (rough demo) by TrentSmithMusic on SoundCloud - Create, record and share your sounds for free

    "Into the Beautiful"
    2011 trentsmithmusic

    These walls of stone have been my home,
    And the sun through my one lonely window
    Painting wishes on the floor
    The ache is all Ive known
    For a long time now, for a long time now

    I want to bathe in the sunrise,
    I want to breathe in the new sky
    I want to fly into the beautiful, the beautiful with You
    I want to wake to the dreaming
    I want to drink in the healing
    I want to fly into the beautiful, the beautiful with You

    I fix my gaze while light remains
    And the ache in my soul is a longing
    For the glory of your face
    I reach through empty space
    From a long way now, from a long way now.

    Goodbye, goodbyes. Goodbye, goodbyes
    Youre left behind forever.
    Goodbye, goodbyes. Goodbye, goodbyes
    Im coming home forever
    For a long time now

  • #2
    Trent,
    As always, I love your songs! As much as I love the melody, I think these lyrics may need some background into the imagery to get a better understanding. At first listen, I did not imagine Heaven. Instead, I got to thinking of going to the beach for a relaxing retreat with my husband. :-)

    The lines that confused me the most were "drinking in the healing" and "you're left behind forever." When it comes to heaven, I can't imagine drinking to receive healing, especially when healing is a matter of expressing authority in scripture. In the bridge, I can't imagine saying "Goodbye" to Jesus. If you're taking to the world here, it seems the transition of singing to Jesus in the chorus to singing to the world in the bridge is missing.

    Sorry to be so critical, but those were my initial thoughts. My thoughts may change once I know the background to the lyric choice. Thanks for hearing me out!
    Melanie Siewert, Christ's Servant
    BLOG: http://www.worshipvanguard.blogspot.com

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    • #3
      clarification

      certainly appreciate the perspective--will do some evaluating. Just a note on the bridge though, you'll notice the lyric repeats "Goodbye, goodbyes." The second word is the noun form--so the point is that I'm saying goodbye to saying goodbye. In heaven we won't have to say goodbye, so when we go to heaven we're essentially saying goodbye to goodbyes.

      Also "drink in" is a figure of speech. Have you ever been somewhere wonderful and just want to "drink it all in"?

      Again--I'm confident that the song can use various improvements, but the poetic devices are deliberate.

      make sense?

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      • #4
        yeah - bro - i loved it! Well done!

        Comment


        • #5
          What Melanie said makes sense, but after your explanation I understood the concept. I wonder if you'll have to explain that whenever you introduce the song? Just thinking.

          PS how is this a "rough demo"? It sounds perfect to me. Of course I don't know what all goes into really recording something. Anyway, another favorite.
          All that hath life and breath, praise ye the Lord!
          In His Name,
          Kim

          http://soundcloud.com/inhisname

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          • #6
            rough demo...? It is beautiful! I love it! Should be playing on the radio!
            The Lord has really blessed you with a wonderful voice and unique style!

            So...all around....Love it!....blessings...c

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            • #7
              I love the poeticness....(is that a word?)....of this song. I can totally see how this is a song about heaven. I love songs that have poetic imagery to convey the emotion and story the song is telling. One of my favorite songwriters is Sting.....so poetic, but you know exactly what he is saying in his songs.

              Beautiful song!

              Lisa

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              • #8
                Dude...I'm digging the high parts. I like the imagery and I think the only thing that I had problems understanding was the "ache"...I'm guessing you meant it to be an intense "wanting" for heaven (right?) Otherwise I totally got the other lyrics right away.

                Can't wait to hear the produced version....NICE!

                Comment


                • #9
                  I wish my 'rough demos' sounded like this.

                  Awesome work bro!

                  God Bless
                  Doug

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