Zero Tolerance
April 8, 2009
We have a policy at Crossroads that says the following; you may not be alone with a person of the opposite sex in a car, closed office or anywhere other people cannot see you at the church or while working for the church.
We installed windows in each of our Directors and Pastors doors, with the rest of the staff being in an open cubicle setting.
Extreme? I don’t think so.
As leaders we must constantly stay aware and scrutinize each situation in our ministry with extreme care. Obviously if someone is determined to sin, they will, but I believe we are called to be wise and protect the flock to the best of our ability.
My husband and I recently talked to another ministry where a pastor was accused of sin with a woman who attends his ministry. Closed office door, no windows and no assistant to vouch for him. He is defenseless in the eyes of the world. He may be innocent and probably is, but we will never be completely sure. So why take the chance?
One of the areas this scenario can most easily happen in is within the worship team. People come on ‘off nights’ for rehearsals, linger, talk, they enjoy musical ability in common; so we ruthlessly keep our eyes open, with zero tolerance of even a bad appearance as much as possible.
Some of you may be thinking that we are paranoid. I don’t think we can ever be too careful in this area of sin. God needs leaders who are willing to lead strongly and unwilling to overlook potential problems.
My pastors have told me many times how much they value my intuition. That has not always been the case, there was a time I was quite naive. If I do have intuition, what it really is, is awareness straight from God, and I learned to be alert the hard way. At my previous church, where I played keyboards and sang, a married, Godly (at least from what I could tell) man followed me after practice into a basement of the church. He leaned in close and just talked, but, I knew if I gave him even an inch he would take a mile. So I immediately left and got in my car. I avoided him after that, and he didn’t pursue me or make me feel uncomfortable again, so I never told the worship leader.
As the leader of any area of the church, I would encourage you to take responsibility no matter how much of a hurry you are in, to escort everyone out of the church and watch them leave, before you go. And NEVER let yourself be alone with a member of the opposite sex.
This is a sinful world, and we as leaders are responsible to protect our teams to the best of our ability from falling into sin. I would encourage each of you to take a hard look at your policies and see where there may be cracks just waiting to hide a sin from view.
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Zero Tolerance http://tinyurl.com/ccsn8m
Amen dude…
Reflection in light of talking through a friend in angst who is now dealing with a staff member and admin who are suspected of an affair but denying it. Their credibility is low because several times the staff member has allowed himself to be in a compromising situation with the admin including a two hour walk down a beach alone while the whole staff was together at a conference. Bob has rules for us and I add a few of my own:
* Never ride alone in the car with a person of the opposite sex.
* Meeting with multiple people and a person of the opposite sex and you both arrive early, I wait in the car or elsewhere.
* No facebook friends that are female below the age of 18. I have one friend who has none who are are of the opposite sex (she is female).
* Meetings at Church. Once the people have gone home from my wing (not even the whole church), never a meeting with someone of the opposite sex.
* I never hug a woman besides my wife “full on.” A side hug is the best you’ll get.
* After an initial assessment, I don’t counsel women long-term but refer them to a great female counselor I know.
*Covenant Eyes on my computer. I don’t have a smart phone, but they are developing products for them. Not just for porn, but so there is record that there were not an abundance of emails to a female or time wasted on goofball sites.
Be above reproach. I know it is old fashion and some may say “sexist” (though I think these rules should go both ways for female and male staff members). I don’t care. I want my integrity.
(From http://www.worshiptrench.com/?p=780)
sorry dudette! my bad lori.
Jordan, what’s up?
Good article, Lori … and I totally agree. To take things a bit further, I’d say you have the gift of “discernment” … which is a valid, spiritual gift. It’s also a big dose of “common sense” at times.
I’ve had this come up multiple times, and have expressed to a few people during rehearsal times to make sure we all leave together, or that we don’t leave someone in a situation.
Fred
Smart man Jordan!
i agree with you that as much as we can, to protect ourselves and the church, we must guard ourselves, take early precautions before sin eats us. We can be under attack at times we never knew.