I’ve been waiting and working for something for a long time. I mean, a really long time. Ten years now. Door after door opens half way. Then it opens just a tiny bit more. Then it shuts. It shuts leaving me wondering, “How in the world did that happen? Why am I locked out and why isn’t anyone answering?”
I’ve begun to wonder if perhaps this particular thing that I’m waiting for just plain isn’t meant to happen, if I’m chasing after wind or possibly deceiving myself into thinking that it should happen when I’m just not up-to-par for it.
Then I hear a still small voice say, “Wait.”
Wait? That’s it? Really? I’ve been waiting for 10 years.
“STOP. And know that I am God.”
I begin to “be still” or “cease striving” as some translations put Psalm 46:10. I begin to realize that each door that has closed has opened another door that I can literally feel is preparing me for where my heart desires to be. I look back at each fork taken in the road and see that my heart, skills, and mind has been prepared for the next one.
Worshiping by Waiting
I’ve been attempting for a long time to truly live out the call in Romans 12:1 to “present your body as a living sacrifice” inspiring the name of my blog and causing me to constantly remind myself that every day I live is an act of worship to God. But waiting in order to worship Him has been tough. Trusting His timing has been an offering that has been hard for me to make.
Then, cutting into the darkness of my impatient heart God sends the account of Abraham. He was waiting for a son but took matters into his own hands and look where that got him – having to obey his wife’s request to send away his first son and the boy’s mother. (see Genesis 21)
Not only did he have to wait years, no decades, for the birth of his son Isaac from his beloved wife, Sarah, he was then told that his offspring would number more than the stars when he knew full-well that he wasn’t going to be around much longer to see that offspring. The other catch, “Oh by the way, do you have enough faith to trust me when I ask you to sacrifice this son you’ve waited so long for? This son that is supposed to provide the amazing offspring I’ve promised?” Of course Abraham’s faith was amazingly strong and God rewarded him for it. But then, again, “Wait.” Abraham would not come to physically see his offspring at all, as his offspring includes you and me, and anyone who believes in Jesus for salvation (take a look through Galatians 3 for more on this).
That God would be Exalted
So I can wait. 10 years is a long time. 80+ years (in Abraham’s case) was even longer. And why do I wait? Because after God tells me to “Stop, be still, cease striving, and know that I am God” he reminds me of one more thing: it never was about me in the first place.
“I will be exalted among the nations. I will be exalted in the earth.” (Second half of Psalm 46:10, emphasis mine.) God’s primary purpose is that all on earth would know Him. My primary purpose should be the same. And if that includes waiting ten more years so that His name would be known…I’ll do it.