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Look At Them

January 29, 2009 By 16 Comments

worship_imageWhen it comes to the role of a worship leader in any given church, we don’t all have the same philosophy of ministry. The job descriptions are as varied as doctrinal statements. And, so are the personalities and preferences of the worship leaders themselves. Some approach the role as “I’m standing up there to set an example of worship.” An extreme example of this is the leader who runs through song after song with his eyes closed, not giving any attention to the rest of the people in the room, and just hopes that they want to do what he’s doing. Others approach it with the thought “I’m up there to lead others in worship.” An extreme example might be the pro-active leader who tells everyone, every Sunday, to raise their hands in a song that mentions this expression of worship… or clap in a fast song… or… well, you get the picture.

With either mentality, we can not separate our role from the people we are responsible for leading. We have a primary responsibility to effectively engage others in worship – to set a tone that is hospitable, safe, and inviting.

We must remember that the overwhelming majority of those gathering in our buildings on Sunday mornings are not professional musicians. They are not soloists. They are not confident in their vocal abilities. And, yet, in order to fully participate in worship, we ask them to sing – like they mean it – loudly enough for their neighbors to hear them. (Can you feel them cringe when they walk in the door?)

How can we make this a pleasant experience? How can we encourage them? How can we better invite them in?

One small thing that will have a huge impact on our congregation, is eye-contact.

I recently had the opportunity to be a guest worship leader at a church I’d never stepped foot in before. Without having been introduced to the congregation, I led two of the songs in our worship set. I was aware of the fact that the church body had no idea who I was or why I was a part of the team that day. Even though I didn’t go through the “During this song, I want to invite you to…” spiel, I deliberately made eye contact with every corner of the room as we all sang the first song together. I looked at them. All of them. Of course, their eyes were on this stranger standing in front. They watched me. And, I took every opportunity to smile back, as if to say “I’m glad I’m here and I’m so glad you’re here with me. Let’s do this together.” I needed them to know that I wanted to connect with them. That I wanted them to participate. That I wanted to serve them. That I wanted to help them worship.

So, I looked at them.

By the time we began the second song, they were trusting and ready to deeply engage in worship with me. They didn’t know my name. They didn’t know where I lived. They didn’t know why I was there that day. But they knew, for that brief moment, that I was leading them in worship. And they followed.

Let me encourage you, whether you’re the head Worship Leader at your church or an alto in a choir of 80 members, look at those that you are asking to follow you. Let them know that you are aware of their presence. Connect with them. Invite them in. They will better follow. They will better worship. And you will better lead.

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Filed Under: Featured Story, Worship Leadership
  • http://www.fredmckinnon.com Fred McKinnon

    Mandy,
    This is an awesome article … and one that we’ve been discussing at length at SSCC. More and more, I hear people express the need to “connect” with the people on the stage. At first, I don’t quite “get” that … I mean, as a leader – I try my best to make that eye contact and lead them …. but when I’m not leading – and I’m just worshiping, I guess I’m not trying to “connect” with anybody on stage – I’m just focusing on God. I often look up at a cross, or the words, or something that takes me closer to God.

    I had to realize that just because I’m not “wired” with the need to “connect” with the people on the stage, so many people are!

    It’s been a challenge at SSCC – because I am charged to get new people involved, and I have – but as a result, some people express that they have a hard time “connecting” with the new faces … when the old, original team (that played every Sunday for years and years) is up there … more people say they “connect”.

    So, it takes time to build those relationships.

    For us – I’ve had to think about this in my scheduling as well, and often favor someone who maybe doesn’t have the best voice, but has the “engagement” thing covered …

    Can’t wait to see the conversations on this one.

  • http://www.SaintLewisMusic.com/ Shannon Lewis

    Mandy – this is quite possibly the best thing you’ve ever written, and a solid slap on the wrist for me, as this is a weak spot for me. I’m with Fred – I lean towards the “it’s me and God” and have to work to maintain what you’ speaking of above. Thanks!

  • http://blog.alexandari.com Jennifer

    Wow – thanks for the good reminder. In the back of my head I often remind myself that I need to focus more on this connection, but I struggle with being the worship leader and still getting to worship (if that makes sense).

    It is hard some weeks to be an active participant in the actual worship because I am so focused on making sure the congregation is able to enter in – how do you reconcile that? Like Fred and Shannon, I’m a “it’s me and God” worshipper – I would rather forget that there is anyone else in the room! So leading and worshiping can at times be a challenge.

    As worship leaders we need to remember that no matter our personal worship style, we need to be engaged with those that need to engage. Those that don’t need that will be just fine. Thanks!

  • http://www.tomcottar.og tom cottar

    GREAT reminder! while some of us are wired to connect this way…probably many are not..I’m sending the link to our team…

    blessings!
    tom

  • http://www.doyousmellthat.com b davis

    Ben Folds once said of Neil Young “He has the ability to make a stadium feel like a living room.” I think something worship leaders in smaller churches struggle with is trying to do the opposite – making their “living room” feel like a stadium. And people who lead worship in larger churches sometimes try to get lost in the crowd.

    As a natural introvert who leads worship at a larger church, it’s really easy for me to do the latter, to make a large room feel even larger so I can somehow disconnect what I’m doing from who I’m doing it with (and sometimes Who I’m doing it for, unfortunately). But that sense of connection is always so vitally important, especially in a larger environment where many people can feel alienated by the size of the crowd in which they’re standing. In that case, it’s even more important to connect visually in order to “shrink the room” and make everyone feel at home.

    Great article. Thanks!

    b davis

  • http://themadafrican.blogspot.com Hiram

    I attend a church where the music and liturgy is printed in the bulletins. It really helps personalize the service, so that people reflect on their relationship with God, rather than what is going on around them, or what other people are doing. That being said, if people want to be distracted they will be, no matter what. I have found that leading by example throughout the service, not just when I lead singing, entering into God’s presence personally, has been really helpful in bringing the congregation along.

    There are some times, though, when we want to make musical worship extend outside the boundaries of the printed page, and it is much easier to do that when verbal or nonverbal cues are used. Eye contact tells people “watch me closely, I’m going to do something different here” and verbal cues instruct people about which verse/chorus is coming next. Both these tools, combined with a team that is listening to each other and is immersed in personal worship, enable the Holy Spirit to really inhabit the room and allow the congregation to truly approach the throne of Grace.

    The key, to me, is whether what I’m doing adds focus for others, or is distracting. Smiling broadly during “My song is Love Unknown”, for example, would be in bad taste, and would attract too much attention to the worship leader rather than focusing people on the message of the cross, but earnestly feeling the words would not. Context is super important, and this is what an singer/musician has to take into account – especially (but not limited to) leading a congregation in worship. In what I am doing, am I constrained by the love of Christ?

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  • http://shapingthespace.blogspot.com David (dg4G)

    Great article Mandy. Completely agreed, and I also totally identiy with what ‘b davis’ has written in response. That’s probably all I need to say :)

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  • Lauren

    Thank you so much, Mandy, for this article. I work with Jr. Highers (one of the most self-conscious groups in the church). Sometimes when we sing worship it is like pulling teeth to get them to just stand up. I’m going to try and just connect with them before service and love them; make eye contact with them during our worship time. Even if they don’t sing or stand, I would at least connect with them and, more importantly, show them the Father’s love. Thanks again for your wonderful article!!!!!

  • http://guitaristjohnmorris.blogspot.com John Morris

    WONDERFUL article! This is definitely something that I’ve worked on in the last couple of years. I look at the Psalms, and you always see intentionality in the way they lead people. The psalmists are always throwing out commanding statements and exhorting the people to sing, dance, and shout. When I first started leading this way, I noticed an immediate positive change in the dynamic of worship.

  • TK

    Mandy,

    Thanks for your article and to everyone else for their feedback.

    I’m guilty, albeit in the past ,of being the ” extreme example of this is the leader who runs through song after song with his eyes closed, not giving any attention to the rest of the people in the room, and just hopes that they want to do what he’s doing.”

    In the last couple years, I have started to tell more stories in the midst of worship sets, and used more scripture to communicate the meaning a song or a certain point in the message in hopes of leading our congregation more effectively.

    I often view the songs themselves as prayers between me and the Father, and my thinking gravitates towards I have led them 70% of the way with set ups and communication BEFORE I start the song, it’s on them to take it the rest of the way and accept personal responsibility for THAT PART of their worship.

    Again, there are those who benefit from the eye contact, but there are also those who benefit from a different teaching style than the one we offer at our church, or from having communion every week, which we do not do.

    Where are the lines between “stylistic” differences and opinions vs. inhibiting an individuals worship experience?

    I’m interested in feedback on this

    TK

  • http://www.tomcottar.og tom cottar

    b davis’ comment makes real sense to me–Neil Young making a stadium feel like a living room and many worship leaders want to do the opposite.

    If you’ve ever seen U2, you know Bono does a great job in turning the stadium into a living room…or coffee table.

    I think i could learn somethings about worship from Bono..

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