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| Song Center - Share Originals, Collaborate Share your songs, lyrics, and/or collaborate with other writers here! Original material only - no copyrighted material or arrangements of copyrighted songs you don't have the rights to! |
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07-18-2010, 03:25 PM
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TWCSW Jul - "Image"
OK, fellow songwriters and musicians! We need your help. Tom Kline and I have been collaborating on some lyrics expressing how God wants to restore us to his image. We've got a general idea of what we want, but we would like additional collaborators. Some phrases do not rhyme; don't know if they have to, but it would be cool if others could provide some near rhymes to fit the overall picture of being restored to Christ's image.
Also, if a melody comes to your head, please let us know. So far, I'm drawing a blank. I'll keep praying for a tune in the meantime. :-) Anyone up to the challenge? Here is what we have so far: Image (Colossians 1:15-20) Highlighted verses: 15, 16, 18, 20 (c) 2010 Lyrics by Tom Kline, Melanie Siewert, and <insert your name here> Before creation was, you are All things made for your glory You govern over all the earth From thrones to powers to authority Mankind is in your image But only a poor reflection Since Adam disobeyed Falling from your perfection CHORUS Forgive me of what keeps me away Revive my heart to love like you Restore me so I can be Transformed into your image With an ever-increasing glory I want to grow in your Spirit Gaining a likeness of Jesus Whom is the visible image I'm a part of the body of Christ Where our Savior is the head Purify your church, O Lord And restore your people unto you (Bridge idea) Your image is perfect Restore me and Present me blameless Alternate Chorus or Bridge: Jesus, You're molding me into Your image Looking more and more like You As I gaze into Your face Help me reflect Your love and grace Until everyone can see the image of You in me
__________________
Melanie Siewert, Christ's Servant BLOG:http://worshipvanguard.blogspot.com/ Twitter: http://twitter.com/MelaSie Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/mesiewert 
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07-18-2010, 08:17 PM
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Melanie, Thanks for letting me be a part of this venture. It has been great working with you from a distance.
One thing I just noticed- in the 2nd part of the first verse, the third line doesn't have the same rhythm as the other verses. If you say "Since Adam disobeyed your voice", it might fit better. Now to all of you songwriters looking at this: someone please spend enough time with the words to see if a melody comes to you, and if so, please share it. Tom
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07-19-2010, 09:03 AM
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Just an initial comment... rhyming can often be important, however, in most of the songs I write, my lyrics don't rhyme and they've worked out pretty well ;-)
In fact, I sometimes find that when trying to rhyme, it actually can cause lyrics to come off as though you were trying to pick something just for the purpose of making it rhyme.
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07-19-2010, 09:16 PM
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Got something brewing.
Hopefully I don't stray too far from your intent. I am building on a hook that came to me, and weaving Your lyrics around it with a few changes. I added a part that gives us some kind of a visual image to the chorus. Hopefully that is OK with you guys. If I have taken it in a direction you dislike, speak up!
Before creation was, You are Quote:
Last edited by MarkSnyder; 07-20-2010 at 10:18 AM..
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07-20-2010, 03:40 AM
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Here is the rough melody, in MIDI form.
I added a drum loop so you can hear the timing. Its hard to follow without it.
http://soundcloud.com/marksnyder/image Last edited by MarkSnyder; 07-20-2010 at 10:14 AM..
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07-20-2010, 04:57 PM
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Hey Mark,
I have a different melody that fits the original lyrics, and I included some of your lyrics as well. I'll try to have a recording done by tomorrow; I'm still fine tuning the melody.
__________________
Melanie Siewert, Christ's Servant BLOG:http://worshipvanguard.blogspot.com/ Twitter: http://twitter.com/MelaSie Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/mesiewert
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07-20-2010, 05:11 PM
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Cool use anything I do as input...
This was a training exercise for me and I learned how to do drums in Noteflight, which at least helps me to nail down timing in the scores. My tune is a little bit unusual I think, although there are some memorable parts to the melody. I look forward to yours.
Mark
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07-21-2010, 08:31 PM
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Hey. Here is what I was able to come up with using the original lyrics.
Mark, there are a couple of lines where your lyrics fit better both melodically and lyrically. You'll recognize them. Tom, I really wanted to use your words for the bridge, but it would make the song close to 5 minutes long. If you would like to hear the song with the bridge added in, I can post that later. Just let me know. I posted the sample of the song on Soundcloud, and posted the tracks on Kompoz. If we agree with how the song flows, I hope we can get some collaborators on the music portion. Thoughts? Image (c) 2010 Melanie Siewert, Tom Kline and Mark Snyder Colossians 1:15-20 (emphasis on 15, 16, and 20) Key of D (?) ******************************************** Before creation was, you are All things were made for your glory You govern over all the earth From thrones to powers to authorities All of mankind is in your image Only a poor and faint reflection Since Adam disobeyed your voice All of your children fell from your perfection Pre-chorus Now’s the time for change! Chorus Forgive me of what keeps me away Revive my heart to love like Jesus Restore me until I’m all Transformed into your perfect image With an ever-increasing glory I want to grow more in your Spirit Ever more pure, healed and holy You are the Word, Lord, may I live it! Pre-Chorus Chorus (2x) ******************************************* Possible Bridge if song length is not an issue: As I gaze into your face Help me to reflect your grace Until everyone else can see The image of you in me
__________________
Melanie Siewert, Christ's Servant BLOG:http://worshipvanguard.blogspot.com/ Twitter: http://twitter.com/MelaSie Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/mesiewert
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07-21-2010, 10:24 PM
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Ok, all I have to say.. this is a lot of lyrics, but I think if a full band was to play it out with varying dynamics, it could be a crazy good song!
This might sound crazy but on the verses I'm totally hear grungy electric guitars just playing muted chords and on the transition to the chorus, the drummer would do a crazy fill and the whole band would just kick in full volume. The bass line would be a thumpin' bass line with a somewhat syncopated pattern to it. Unfortunately I have no skills in that area to even try and put together what I mean ;-) Melanie, I've got to hand it to you... there are a few pitchy spots in the lyrics, but just singing to a drum loop acapella, you've done a nice job here! Again, I congratulate you for being so ambitious to encourage collaboration.
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07-22-2010, 05:50 PM
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Melanie, I think you have something good here. It has taken a lot of back and forth to get here, but I like what it has become.
I do wish someone would put either a guitar or keyboard track with it; then it might be more apparent whether it should have a soft or hard sound to it. Can you figure out the chord progressions for the song and post it? That may encourage someone to join in with an instrument. I would really like this song to reach the point of being useable, but it still needs input from others. HINT! HINT! Tom
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