TWCSW Feb Untitled (Psalm 31)

[sethdekkenga]

Hey all, I finally gave it a go tonight...

I was sitting at a coffee shop, wasn't planning on doing this. Thus, I was reading out of my pocket edition of "The Message" which doesn't have verses. Verse 1 of the lyrics was taken somewhat from the first few verses of Psalm 31, although many parts of this song were more generally what the Spirit was speaking to me after reading whole chunks, or the entire Psalm 31. Verse 2 was also more taken out of the first chunk of the psalm. The chorus was taken from the general feel of the psalm, though some specifically from the end of the psalm (I will be strong and courageous).

The lyrics and recording are all very rough. I usually don't share before even giving a song a second glance or listen... but given the nature of this challenge, I look forward to any feedback, critique, etc. Being that I didn't spend a lot of time writing it, I feel that I could elaborate more lyrically, whether that be a bridge or adding to the verses or chorus. Here goes nothing... <click the title for the mp3 file>

Untitled (Psalm 31)

Verse1:
I'm tired and weary
Running to you for safety
Come down, God, show your face
Come and be my hiding place

Chorus:
I will trust in you
I will wait on you
I will be strong and courageous (repeat)
Knowing only your ways are just

Verse2:
I'm ridiculed and horrified
Ducking in your cave to hide
Hold me in your hands
Be my rock where I can stand

[sethdekkenga]

Also, I didn't put this in the original post or recording, but the word "I", particularly in the chorus, could be changed to "We" (We will trust in You, We will wait on You, We will be strong and courageous).

Holla.

[Wannabe a Worshiper]

Seth, great start on a great song. It's very interesting how God says different things to each of us as we study the same passage!

Your song focuses on the struggle and despair found in much of the psalm. My suggestion would be to add a bridge that focuses on the positive words found in vs 19-20.
I look forward to hearing the finished offering.
Tom

[Mindy]

Wow! I really like it Seth! I can picture the Church really getting into it just letting go and worshiping. Great start.

[webebo]

Great start Seth. I like the song, and like Mindy I can see the church jammin' to this one.

I have one suggestion, on the last line of the chorus "Knowing only your ways are just", I wonder if it would be a little smoother droping the "are" to the same note or just below "ways". I think it would lead to the instrumental in between the chorus and verse a little better. I do like the rise of notes when you repeat the chorus, just thought maybe drop it for other times.

But, it is a great song.

[pian0dude]

Seth,

Nice work! I can totally hear this in a fully orchestrated setting. Lots of places for drum fills, entire bands coming in full volume, etc...

I agree with the comments/suggestions about that last line of the chorus. Could be kind of tricky for the congregation to grasp the timing on it.

Excellent!

[russhutto]

Seth,

Great job! I like the upbeat nature of it! The one lyric that kind of jumps out oddly at me is the cave line. Ducking kind of feels awkward, I wonder if there's a better way to approach that line?

Otherwise, I think the whole of this song is great!

[sethdekkenga]

Originally Posted by russhutto

Seth,

Great job! I like the upbeat nature of it! The one lyric that kind of jumps out oddly at me is the cave line. Ducking kind of feels awkward, I wonder if there's a better way to approach that line?

Otherwise, I think the whole of this song is great!

Hey Russ, thanks for the feedback! I did rewrite that line after I posted it. Part of it may just be the wording, but I changed the word "in" to "into" so "Duck" is on the downbeat of 1 and "ing" is on the upbeat. Make sense? I'm not sure if that's right or not, I need to listen to it when I get home, and next week I'm going to re-record it and hopefully add a bridge I'm working on.

Thanks again for the feedback!

[matreames]

hey champ, I like this tune, and love the idea of using We. I thnk the church needs more of 'we' and less of 'me' harken back to the community mindset and bond that the early church fathers and mothers had.

[pian0dude]

Seth,

Can you post a PDF format chord chart for your tune?

-Brian