Jesus Lord Over All

[baliad]

Greetings all! Here's a link to a new song I've been working on. I'm iffy on the bridge... Some constructive feedback would be very helpful and VERY much appreciated. Thanks!

Grande

http://soundcloud.com/baliad/jesus-lord-over-all

Jesus Lord Over All - Grande Baliad

Verse 1:
All our tongues confess that You are Lord
All our knees bow down to You - our great reward
We believe You died so we could live new lives in You

Verse 2:
We have seen the power of Your Cross
We can see Your holiness at work in us
Now Your Kingdom comes as we live as one with You

Chorus:
Jesus Lord over all,
our strength and our song, we praise You alone
You reign now as the King of Glory
You're seated on Your throne victorious
Three days down in the grave
You rose once again, forever we're changed
We worship You the King of Glory
You lead us in Your power victorious

Bridge:
On the Cross where You hung
Our freedom was won
Your death broke the power of sin in us
Your sacrifice paid the price in full
Now You’ve opened our eyes
to see You alive
We live in the truth of Your great love
We live by the Message of Your Cross

[Wannabe a Worshiper]

I like this. A lot of good Bible doctrine, and that can't be a bad thing.

The melody line is good, too. I think you could work with it some and tweak it a bit here and there.

On the bridge, consider taking part of the words and making them into a third verse, and simplify the bridge to one or two thoughts. You can't say everything that needs to be said about God in one song.

Thanks for sharing this.
Tom

[jsytel]

I agree with the previous comment. A bridge should contrast with the verse/chorus material. The chorus has plenty of lyrics, so maybe the bridge should have few, with more melodic repetition. Variety can be created by dynamics/ intensity rather than new lyrics/ melody. Good stuff. Keep going!

[MarkSnyder]

Id say you have a great song that it a work in progress. You have a good melody line in both verse and chorus. The bridge is ok but needs to be shorter, more focused, more insistent and hammer the theme of the song. You need to pick a one sentence theme for this and hone your lyrics to support it. There is a bit too much filler in the lyrics. You could do with more repetition, especially the built in cry you have with "king of glory" and the rhyme "victorious". Build around that idea, for instance. Narrow it down. Support it with some fresh phrasing that tells me why.

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[baliad]

Gentlemen,

Thanks SO much for your feedback and suggestions! I really appreciate it. I got much of the same feedback from some other friends who listened to the song. As a result, I rewrote the bridge. Much simpler and more direct. Please have a listen and please keep the feedback coming!

http://soundcloud.com/baliad/jesus-lord-over-all-2

[MarkSnyder]

You simplified the lyrics. Still too much happening musically in the bridge Think super simple, like 'we lift up our eyes, lift up our eyes youre the giver of life' simple. Riff on the big lift in your chorus (King of glory) and just repeat the lift a couple of times, then tack on your 'our praises rise'. Like

You are the KING, you are the KING you are the KING victorious.

Our praises rise, our praises RISE

To me that would be icing on a pretty tasty cake. Good job!


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[Wannabe a Worshiper]

I agree with Mark. The bridge is still too busy, and too dramatic. I think something that echoes the title would be good:

"Jesus, You are Lord, Lord over all. Lord over all
Jesus, You are Lord over all,
And our praises rise to You, to You."

Something simple and singularly focused. This has the potential to be a really great song, so keep working to make it as good as possible.

My nickel's worth
Tom

[baliad]

thanks again guys... i really appreciate the feedback... i'm glad there are some experienced and knowledgable songwriters on here who can help me refine a song...