How to handle lateness to rehearsal?

[skyescraper]

I'm having trouble getting everyone to show up on time for rehearsals. I've only been here a few months and don't have many 'regulars' on the team yet. Some weeks there are 2 singers, other weeks there are 5, as well as a variety of players, and a lot of them don't come on time. We're supposed to begin at 6:30 pm but often no one (including sound and projection people) is there for the first 10 minutes. I'd like to start on time regardless, but then people drift in and miss the first couple of songs, and I have to go back and rehearse them again anyway, unless I want there to be chaos on Sunday morning... Before I came, they had a very laid back rehearsal time and it started sometime between 6:30 and 7:00. I have told them that I want to begin at 6:30 - and I always emphasize this when someone new wants to join us (but apparently I have not been emphasizing it as much as I thought I was!) And even the times when we have begun closer to the right time, someone will walk in at least 20 minutes late, and have to get plugged in, get tuned and make sure their monitor is just right, etc., and it is very disruptive to everyone.

Any help you all could give me on this issue would be appreciated.

[tlhartsfield]

Ask them what time would be best to start. Then ask them for a commitment to start at that time.

[milepost13]

Sounds to me like you need to start over from scratch. And, that's going to take a whole lot more than one thread on a chat forum...

Nate

[skyescraper]

Milepost, do you mean start over with new people? (Don't have any more to draw from.) Or do you mean sit down with everyone and tell them we need to take this seriously and here's what we need to do, etc....?

[milepost13]

neither...I would start over with a blank piece of paper, having a vision and a purpose and together coming up with a strategy. You'll lose some people if you're as hardcore as I would be, but I'd rather have two committed people than ten goofs. You're the leader, and you need to set the pace that is needed...

Nate

[worshipthruitall]

I completely agree with Milepost. You need something on paper that states the requirments of being on the worship team. (Theres just something about putting in on paper).

Also, you need to sit down and have a Come to Jesus Meeing...and let them know that lack of puntuality is not a Godly character trait, and basically these people that stroll in late are really saying that there time is more important than everyone elses and that they have little respect for their leadership and those on the team. Basically its a rebellious attitude, and youve said it yourself that you have stated it over and over again what time practice starts....

I went to worship conference, and someone brought up this very question to one of the teachers, and he told a story about his worship practice. basically the leader was in the middle of conducting the practice and someone came in late, he quietly stopped the practice, turned around, looked at the person, and said "glad you could join us, but im sorry, youve missed so much of the practice already, and i nor the team have time to go back over it, therefore you will not be prepared for Sunday, so you are dismissed. See you next week". now i would never do that in front of everyone, but thats the way it is.

Now im all for cutting people slack, I mean things come up and crap happens but when its all the time it becomes rediculous. sorry if im rambling but you hit on a soap box for me.

[Mike Darley]

First, I'd ask why they're always late. At my last church I was always about 10 minutes late, but that was because I was coming from work and it was unavoidable. Of course I wasn't leading and I let my worship leader know. I have a couple of people coming straight from work (one's still in high school so he's coming from sports practice) and I don't let it bother me if they're late. With these guys I know it isn't a lack of respect or seriousness about ministry. When we're there we work hard. If it is a respect or seriousness issue that needs to be dealt with, but I wouldn't jump right to that conclusion.

[russhutto]

Agree with Stevie.

I'd also second the notion that the WHY is pretty important in this instance.

If people are just late because they're being bums, then by all means, move forward with a process to correct that. But if they are really truly committed to the focus, purpose, vision, direction, etc. of the ministry but have a very minor conflict then I'd try and work with them.

We've instated a few boundaries as far as "lateness" goes around here at our place and it goes a little something like this:

1) If it looks like you're going to be more than 20 minutes late to rehearsal or Sunday morning, just enjoy the night off. No hard feelings. Just call and let me know that everything's ok.
2) If you're running late or know you're going to be late for rehearsal send me a text or leave me a voicemail so I know that everything's ok.

One Sunday morning a former bass player showed up extremely late. He came in all frazzled and with a pretty unprepared attitude so I confronted him in front of everyone. I wasn't rude, I didn't want to do it, and it turned out ok.

He stormed out, felt like I was out to get him, and isn't on the team anymore. He felt like I was "stealing" his "joy" that morning because God told him to play for Him.

The team kind of watched in awkward silence, but I got many a compliment for being nice, but firm in my loving correction. No other sinlge person had a problem with how I handled it.

That being said, it was in the dreaded moment of confrontation that the guy's heart really showed, and honestly I never wanted him to play with us again. He did for a few weeks after a short sabbatical (actually the pastor and I put him in worship team timeout).

Anyways, I would suggest that by having a sit down (not one on one) with the team and just explaining that the purpose of any worship team is to bring Glory and honor to God through music while at the same time creating an environment that helps others do the same. I would add that when we don't take punctuality serious, we're really saying that we're not committed to the ministry and it's vision. EVEN if I'm there every week, but 10 minutes late each time.

Honest truth is if anyone including the bass player I mentioned truly felt led, called, and gifted by God to minister through music, they'd do anything and everything in their power to take it seriously and make it happen.

[twc_admin]

Great responses so far. I can tell ya - my "written" contract was a hilarious transformation. It went from like 5 pages of "can" and "cannot", very strict punctuality, dress code, etc.

Then ... I got married.

It went down to about 3 pages.

Then ... I had kids ... 4 of them.

Now, it says "I hope you can make it at some point".

Seriously, there DO need to be standards, and obviously, "I hope you can make it at some point" clearly isn't clear enough.

We've got some great points here ..
1 - ask THEM what works best.
2 - find out WHY.

Note, if 6:30 is too hard for people to get on time ... move it to 7:00. Then, if they come at 7:15 .. move it to 7:30. Every time, you'll have them staying later and later. Eventually, they get the idea ... "why do you keep making rehearsal so late?" ... well, uh ... because ya'll can't make it on time when we try to start earlier".

(tongue in cheek, they say?)

Fred

[BillyChia]

I'm currently new in my position as well so this makes sense to me. I'd say

Rules with out Relationship equals Rebellion.

If you try to enforce the rules with out having a good relationship in place you will lose more people than you need to. (Sometimes people need to go, but I pride myself being someone who moves people from the margins into the core - not someone who just cuts out everyone who's not already there.)

I can relate. I have had a lot of issues with punctuality ect... because I'm new. I can say they have been consistently getting better. In fact this week everyone showed up early!

here's what I've done:

1. Focus on a few people. I can't personally connect with everyone on the team but I can get close with a few people. It sounds like you need at least one other person to show up besides you. 2 or 3 people setting the example is better than one.

2. Start practice anyway. When people walk in late and the band is already playing they get embarrassed. It's mildly motivating.

3. Ask. Several have stated that you just need to ask if there's a better time and I echo that. When I actually made a phone call to everyone I found that I was over scheduling some people. When I put them on the schedule at frequency they could handle they were willing to show up on time.

4. Vision Cast. This should really be number 1. I am continually casting vision and always talking about what things will look like at the next stage of the game. When people feel like they are a part of something that is growing and moving somewhere that's exciting and they are more willing to commit.

5. Compliment more that I Criticize. I make it point to try to say 10 good things for every bad thing. I'm kinda a high strung intense kinda guy - sometimes when I get mad it borders on messy. My team has been forgiving of my harsher criticisms because they are few and infrequent where as my praise in often and ample.

6. Be Consistent Honestly I suck at this and I'm putting it up to remind myself. There are weeks that I don't have music out to my team until practice or I've behind on other things. I honestly believe that people will be even more willing to commit and be on time to practice if I'm on time with everything.

7. Relationship. I'll just emphasize the point that I believe these things are all working because I've focused on getting to know my team. I go to their house and we play guitar hero together and I invite them to shows when I go to see bands play. Sometimes it's as simple as a phone call or an email.