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We Bring the Praise

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  • We Bring the Praise

    A song I wrote; lend me your eyes and give me feedback on the theology. Feedback is greatly appreciated. It's always my goal to have sound theology in music I write.
    Many thanks!

    Verse 1
    We've come to set aside this time as we gather into this sacred space
    And now we offer up our lives as a response to grace
    So let's glorify and magnify
    Our Maker with all our might

    Chorus
    As we bring the praise to lift You up and bless Your name
    United we come, under the banner of Your love and grace
    And by Your Son's sacrifice, the Holy Spirit redeems our lives
    So we've come to share life and seek Your face in this place
    As we bring the praise

    Verse 2
    It's You alone our hearts desire as we freely come may we freely give
    Stir within us Your steadfast love to more trust
    Finding new strength to live
    So let's raise our voices to lift Him high
    Our great King Adonai

    Bridge
    We bring the praise to lift You up
    The Father, Spirit, Son and all of His ways

    We bring the praise to lift You up
    The Father, Spirit, Son and all of His ways

  • #2
    I like it a lot.

    I would ask you to think about the "direction" of verse 2 and the bridge.

    In verse 1, the lyrics are directed to one another. In the chorus, they are directed to God.

    Then in verse 2, the lyrics start out directed to God, but then shift back to us. Shifting direction from one verse to another is fine. Shifting in the middle of the verse confuses me (maybe I am the only one confused -- that has been said before!!). And then the same thing happens in the bridge. So what about:

    Verse 2
    It's You alone our hearts desire as we freely come may we freely give
    Stir within us Your steadfast love to more trust
    Finding new strength to live
    So WE raise our voices to lift YOU high
    Our great King Adonai

    Bridge
    We bring the praise to lift You up
    XXX Father, Spirit, Son and all of YOUR ways

    I'm not sure what word I would suggest for XXX. Maybe "Our", maybe "Oh". Maybe nothing at all.

    That's my two cents worth. Let me know if you want a refund.

    Comment


    • #3
      Kepmek,

      I totally agree and see your points with the verse and bridge. I've been away from the forums a while; doesn't seem as active as I remember. Thanks for taking the time to respond!

      Comment


      • #4
        Hi Guitar_goob,

        Thanks for putting your stuff out there! As a fellow songwriter, I know how nerve-wracking that can be. So I appreciate your bravery in putting your work out there for feedback.

        The content of the lyrics seems to be focused on giving God praise. I am interested in the focus of your praise. It seems to be a lot about the act of approaching God and giving praise, and I find myself getting curious about why. What do you find so praiseworthy about God? What is the purpose of your praise? What has inspired this song? It could be about the grace that you mention in Verse 1. If that is the case, then I would talk more about that grace in your life. I would thicken out that part of the story. Lots of songs talk about "grace"; so what has it meant to you, personally? How has grace appeared in your life? How has it changed you?

        While it seems focused on praise, which is great, I just find myself longing to know more about the story behind the praise.

        I would also be interested to hear how this song flows musically. Let us know if you have a rough demo - you could link it to this page.

        If I can just mention one more thing - hang in there - the rhyme of "face" with "place" in the chorus is a bit. . . predictable. It is one of those overly-used rhymes, especially in Christian praise and worship. Like "sing" and "king", "high" and "glorify", "love" and "above"; you get the idea. Sorry, but it's one of my pet peeves. See if you can think of an alternative rhyme. It doesn't have to be a true rhyme; it could be an assonance, like "Seek your face, voices raised" (that's not a great example but you get the idea).

        Be encouraged! Many people think of writing songs but not many actually do. Don't be afraid to re-work this song. A re-write can take a good song and make it exceptional. "From the Inside Out" famously went through 17 re-writes; so don't lose heart! I think it's great that you are writing praise songs to God and I hope you write many more.

        Steffie.

        Comment


        • #5
          Love the lyrics - is there music too? It would be great to hear it if there is.

          Comment

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