TWCSW Jul - "Image"

[WorshipVanguard]

OK, fellow songwriters and musicians! We need your help. Tom Kline and I have been collaborating on some lyrics expressing how God wants to restore us to his image. We've got a general idea of what we want, but we would like additional collaborators. Some phrases do not rhyme; don't know if they have to, but it would be cool if others could provide some near rhymes to fit the overall picture of being restored to Christ's image.

Also, if a melody comes to your head, please let us know. So far, I'm drawing a blank. I'll keep praying for a tune in the meantime. :-)

Anyone up to the challenge? Here is what we have so far:

Image (Colossians 1:15-20)
Highlighted verses: 15, 16, 18, 20
(c) 2010 Lyrics by Tom Kline, Melanie Siewert, and <insert your name here>

Before creation was, you are
All things made for your glory
You govern over all the earth
From thrones to powers to authority

Mankind is in your image
But only a poor reflection
Since Adam disobeyed
Falling from your perfection

CHORUS
Forgive me of what keeps me away
Revive my heart to love like you
Restore me so I can be
Transformed into your image

With an ever-increasing glory
I want to grow in your Spirit
Gaining a likeness of Jesus
Whom is the visible image

I'm a part of the body of Christ
Where our Savior is the head
Purify your church, O Lord
And restore your people unto you

(Bridge idea)
Your image is perfect
Restore me and
Present me blameless

Alternate Chorus or Bridge:
Jesus, You're molding me
into Your image
Looking more and more like You
As I gaze into Your face
Help me reflect Your love and grace
Until everyone can see
the image of You in me

[Wannabe a Worshiper]

Melanie, Thanks for letting me be a part of this venture. It has been great working with you from a distance.

One thing I just noticed- in the 2nd part of the first verse, the third line doesn't have the same rhythm as the other verses. If you say "Since Adam disobeyed your voice", it might fit better.

Now to all of you songwriters looking at this: someone please spend enough time with the words to see if a melody comes to you, and if so, please share it.

Tom

[pian0dude]

Just an initial comment... rhyming can often be important, however, in most of the songs I write, my lyrics don't rhyme and they've worked out pretty well ;-)

In fact, I sometimes find that when trying to rhyme, it actually can cause lyrics to come off as though you were trying to pick something just for the purpose of making it rhyme.

[MarkSnyder]

Hopefully I don't stray too far from your intent. I am building on a hook that came to me, and weaving Your lyrics around it with a few changes. I added a part that gives us some kind of a visual image to the chorus. Hopefully that is OK with you guys. If I have taken it in a direction you dislike, speak up!


Before creation was, You are
You made it all Lord for Your glory
You govern sky, and earth and stars
All thrones and powers bow before You

We were created in Your image
But we are just a poor reflection
Born into sin - we bear it’s bondage
We fall so short of Your perfection

(Pre Chorus)
Please forgive us of what keeps us away
Revive our hearts to love like You

(Chorus)
You light up the morning
As sun rays light the dew
You shine ever brightly
You draw us unto You
May we enter in Your holy sight
Where our hearts will be made brand new
In Your image

We are Your body on this earth
You use our weakness for Your strength
The mystery found within Your church
We are Your image, You’re the head

With Your ever-increasing glory
You help us to grow in your Spirit
Ever more pure, and healed, and holy
You are the Word Lord - may we live it

(Pre Chorus)
(Chorus)

(Short Bridge)
You will present this church, Your blameless bride
May she reflect Your love and grace




OK, fellow songwriters and musicians! We need your help. Tom Kline and I have been collaborating on some lyrics expressing how God wants to restore us to his image. We've got a general idea of what we want, but we would like additional collaborators. Some phrases do not rhyme; don't know if they have to, but it would be cool if others could provide some near rhymes to fit the overall picture of being restored to Christ's image.

Also, if a melody comes to your head, please let us know. So far, I'm drawing a blank. I'll keep praying for a tune in the meantime. :-)

Anyone up to the challenge? Here is what we have so far:

Image (Colossians 1:15-20)
Highlighted verses: 15, 16, 18, 20
(c) 2010 Lyrics by Tom Kline, Melanie Siewert, and <insert your name here>

Before creation was, you are
All things made for your glory
You govern over all the earth
From thrones to powers to authority

Mankind is in your image
But only a poor reflection
Since Adam disobeyed
Falling from your perfection

CHORUS
Forgive me of what keeps me away
Revive my heart to love like you
Restore me so I can be
Transformed into your image

With an ever-increasing glory
I want to grow in your Spirit
Gaining a likeness of Jesus
Whom is the visible image

I'm a part of the body of Christ
Where our Savior is the head
Purify your church, O Lord
And restore your people unto you

(Bridge idea)
Your image is perfect
Restore me and
Present me blameless

Alternate Chorus or Bridge:
Jesus, You're molding me
into Your image
Looking more and more like You
As I gaze into Your face
Help me reflect Your love and grace
Until everyone can see
the image of You in me

[MarkSnyder]

I added a drum loop so you can hear the timing. Its hard to follow without it.

http://soundcloud.com/marksnyder/image

[WorshipVanguard]

Hey Mark,
I have a different melody that fits the original lyrics, and I included some of your lyrics as well. I'll try to have a recording done by tomorrow; I'm still fine tuning the melody.

[MarkSnyder]

This was a training exercise for me and I learned how to do drums in Noteflight, which at least helps me to nail down timing in the scores. My tune is a little bit unusual I think, although there are some memorable parts to the melody. I look forward to yours.

Mark

[WorshipVanguard]

Hey. Here is what I was able to come up with using the original lyrics.

Mark, there are a couple of lines where your lyrics fit better both melodically and lyrically. You'll recognize them.

Tom, I really wanted to use your words for the bridge, but it would make the song close to 5 minutes long. If you would like to hear the song with the bridge added in, I can post that later. Just let me know.

I posted the sample of the song on Soundcloud (http://soundcloud.com/mesiewert/image-vox-w-drum-loop), and posted the tracks on Kompoz (http://www.kompoz.com/compose-collaborate/list.track.project?projectId=19225). If we agree with how the song flows, I hope we can get some collaborators on the music portion.

Thoughts?

Image
(c) 2010 Melanie Siewert, Tom Kline and Mark Snyder
Colossians 1:15-20 (emphasis on 15, 16, and 20)
Key of D (?)
********************************************
Before creation was, you are
All things were made for your glory
You govern over all the earth
From thrones to powers to authorities

All of mankind is in your image
Only a poor and faint reflection
Since Adam disobeyed your voice
All of your children fell from your perfection

Pre-chorus
Now’s the time for change!

Chorus
Forgive me of what keeps me away
Revive my heart to love like Jesus
Restore me until I’m all
Transformed into your perfect image

With an ever-increasing glory
I want to grow more in your Spirit
Ever more pure, healed and holy
You are the Word, Lord, may I live it!

Pre-Chorus

Chorus (2x)

*******************************************
Possible Bridge if song length is not an issue:
As I gaze into your face
Help me to reflect your grace
Until everyone else can see
The image of you in me

[pian0dude]

Ok, all I have to say.. this is a lot of lyrics, but I think if a full band was to play it out with varying dynamics, it could be a crazy good song!

This might sound crazy but on the verses I'm totally hear grungy electric guitars just playing muted chords and on the transition to the chorus, the drummer would do a crazy fill and the whole band would just kick in full volume. The bass line would be a thumpin' bass line with a somewhat syncopated pattern to it.

Unfortunately I have no skills in that area to even try and put together what I mean ;-)

Melanie, I've got to hand it to you... there are a few pitchy spots in the lyrics, but just singing to a drum loop acapella, you've done a nice job here! Again, I congratulate you for being so ambitious to encourage collaboration.

[Wannabe a Worshiper]

Melanie, I think you have something good here. It has taken a lot of back and forth to get here, but I like what it has become.

I do wish someone would put either a guitar or keyboard track with it; then it might be more apparent whether it should have a soft or hard sound to it.

Can you figure out the chord progressions for the song and post it? That may encourage someone to join in with an instrument.

I would really like this song to reach the point of being useable, but it still needs input from others. HINT! HINT!
Tom

[pian0dude]

Tom, if the "Hint Hint" was for me... I got to tell ya man... I'm getting pretty burnt out musically lately. I've been doing some of my own stuff, working on a collab with another member and just normal work/life schedules...

So, with the 70+ people that are members of the TWC Songwriters Group, I too hope more people will venture out in to this world with us. I don't want to be the only person up here that can provide keyboard accompaniment, if ya know what I mean. ;-)

If somehow, I get some time in my schedule, I'll see what I can do though.

[MarkSnyder]

Melanie caught the mood in the verses with some minor key melody phrasing. I think the chorus melody should resolve that with a sweeter major key phrasing. So I will work with the melody first, then post a drum, bass, and acoustic guitar track plus one with vocals. I may tweak lyrics as I evolve the melody but nothing drastic.

Mark

[WorshipVanguard]

Brian, I don't think the "hint, hint" was to you. :-) Although you have been VITAL in providing instrumentation to others' projects, we really need A LOT more musicians. Any guitar players out there? ;-)

BTW, I admire your commitment to your family, and love how they are your first ministry! You are an inspiration.

I'm working with another website called WorshipTheRock.com. They have 6K+ members. From what I can tell, they have more musicians than worship leaders. So, I'm making an effort to recruit musicians from that site to help in the collaboration project. So far, I found a bass player who wants to get more into the online music collaboration process, and I found a pastor in CA who plays guitar, bass, keys, AND drums who is actually helping me with one of my songs. I figure since Jesus pursued to gather disciples, I shall do likewise. :-)

Mark, I'm looking forward to hearing what you have. Thanks!

[InHisName]

I'm not clear on what you want...I understand what you did with the lyrics (and you all did a fantastic job, BTW.) Are you looking for "real" instrumentalists to record parts and make a demo? Something other than what I do...instruments on the computer.

I was wondering who the pastor was from CA? Or where he's (she's?) from? Not that I know them all, but just curious.

If I can help, let me know!

[WorshipVanguard]

Hey Kim,
What I'm envisioning with this song is more electric guitar driven. I intended it to be a cry out to God upon recognizing the need to have a closer relationship with the Lord. The process of growing more into Christ's image is a tough (and humbling) process. God constantly refines us by putting us in that "refiner's fire" making us pure gold. It's the "I need to take up my cross and follow Christ" attitude. Does that make sense? At least that's in my mind.

My need for instrumentation is simply to put ideas together, not necessarily making a demo. The dynamics in a song change dramatically once instrumentation is added. I've written "ballads" in the past that eventually became pretty heavy once my musician friends got a hold of them, and I mean in a good way. So, I guess to best explain my need for finding musicians is to create a mood for the song.

BTW, I stated the wrong state for the pastor who is helping me with one of my songs. He's actually from PA. Sorry for the goof! :-)

[MarkSnyder]

I wove your melody and mine together here:

MarkSnyder - Image - SoundCloud (http://soundcloud.com/marksnyder/image)

We could repeat the minor key part more times, resolve to the major key verse, like I did here, or simplify it. I think it as a melody has an emotional punch right now that is interesting. The hard part was the measure to resolve to the major key melody in the second verse.

Progression is:
(verse 1)
F#m Bm, Bm7
F#m Bm Bm7
(Modulate to major key)
G7, C
(verse 2)
D, G, D
Em, Bm, A

(Prechorus)
Em, Bm, A
Em, G, A

(breakdown)
Bm, D, A

(Chorus)
D, G, F#m G
D, G, F#m G (Pick up rhythm again)
Bm, Em, G, A, D

If that helps. Let me know how the overall arrangement is sounding so far. If we like this direction I will tweak lyrics next.

Mark

[MarkSnyder]

I actually have an update to this I will post that is closer to Melanies intent. I think we will have 2 strong melodies come from this. Maybe a pair of songs to choose from.

Sent from my Milestone using Tapatalk

[MarkSnyder]

I sang this with capo 2, so it is in E/C#m I guess on my recording. I can do the sheet in whatever key works.

I used "Now is the time" as a hook in the chorus, though other lyrics could work.


MarkSnyder - ImageMelanie - SoundCloud (http://soundcloud.com/marksnyder/imagemelanie)

Bm Em G
Before creation was, you are
Bm Em A
All things were made for your glory
Bm Em G
You govern over all the earth
Bm Em A
All thrones to powers to authorities

Bm Em G
All of mankind is in your image
Bm Em A
Only a poor and faint reflection
Bm Em G
Since Adam disobeyed your voice
Bm Em Em7 A
All of your children fell from perfection

Em A Em G A
Now is the time - the time for change

(Chorus)
D A
Forgive me of what keeps me away
Em Bm Em G A
Now is the time – now is the time
D A
Transform me into Your image of grace
Em Bm Em A
Now is the time – now is the time
D Em G A
For change

Bm Em G
With an ever-increasing glory
Bm Em A
I want to grow more in your Spirit
Bm Em G
Ever more pure, healed and holy
Bm Em Em7 A
You are the Word, Lord, may I live it!

Pre-Chorus

Chorus (2x)

[WorshipVanguard]

Well, my husband tinkered with the chords, and he came up with a slightly different chord progression. Brian, I got to hand it to you. You and my husband must musically think alike. When I asked him to work with the chords, he played them muted. :-) Unfortunately, he cannot record what he did, so I hope a guitar player can pick this up, and add his/her flavor to it.

Bm……....…G………......…….Em
Before cre-ation was, you are
Bm……….....……G…........…………A
All things were made for your glory
Bm……..…...G…….....……Em
You govern over all the earth
…..….Bm…....……G…..........……………A
From thrones to powers to authori-ties

All of mankind is in your image
Only a poor and faint reflection
Since Adam disobeyed your voice
All of your children fell from your perfection

Pre-chorus
Em…...……G…....……A
Now’s the time for change!

Chorus
D……........……………..A
Forgive me of what keeps me away
Em…….......…………..A……....…Em
Revive my heart to love like Jesus
D…………..........………..A
Restore me until I’m all
……….......……….Em…...…A……...D
Transformed in-to your perfect image

With an ever-increasing glory
I want to grow more in your Spirit
Ever more pure, healed and holy
You are the Word, Lord, may I live it!

Pre-Chorus

Chorus (2x)

[Guitarearl]

I'm new to this, but here are a few cents that might help shape this:

- I hear the bare melody, and I think "Hear Our Praises." And I'm a guy who tends to rely on some darker imagery, but it has a much more major sound to me, especially early in the verses.
- The 2nd half of the verses definitely could head towards a minor sounding bent. 2nd half of V1 talks of God's sovereignty, which has reverence and weight. 2nd half of V2 deals with our fall from God's intentions. I think both of those subjects would be appropriate for darker structure.

I'm an electric guitarist and would like to take a crack at a few tracks that might help to further carry this song. I think it's instinct for a guitarist to hit muted strums off the bat with a new song, it allows you to hear the melody more fully and imagine the spaces between. I have this sound in my head of jangly arpeggios a la Peter Buck from REM in the verses, with it tightening up to more power building through the prechorus to the choruses.

Anyway, just some thoughts. Hope there's something useful here...

[Guitarearl]

Ok, here's a rough demo I've cut with left and right channel guitars and a bass track (my Les Paul through an octave generator). Would love to hear your feedback, I know this is a significant departure from the darker version Mark posted, but I thought I'd try to bring together what I was hearing in her melody file. Thanks.

Image - Earl Reed Orchestration - Guitars And Bass W/ Mel's Vox & Drums (http://soundcloud.com/guitarearl/image-add-guitars-and-bass)

Image
Words & Music by Melanie Siewert, Tom Kline, Mark Snyder, and Earl Reed

Intro: | D / / / | A / Bm / | G / A / | D / / / | (with chord changes leading the beats)
V1:
D……........Dsus4……….........G2
Before cre-ation was, you are
D……….....……..…Dsus4…........A…Asus4..A
All things were made for your glory
Bm……..…....G…….......……Em7
You govern over all the earth
……….D…..…….……A….......Bm..……..…Asus4..A Turnaround: D…Dsus4…
From thrones to powers to authori-ties

V2:
All of mankind is in your image
Only a poor and faint reflection
Since Adam disobeyed your voice
All of your children fell from your perfection

Pre-chorus
D/F#…...……G..…....……A
Now’s the time for change!

Chorus
G……..Gmaj7……...……A…………….D
Forgive me of what keeps me away
G….…Gmaj7……...…..A……..…Em…D
Revive my heart to love like Je - sus
G…..…Gmaj7………......A……….Em
Restore me until I’m all transformed
…..G….....…A………...D
In-to your perfect image

V3:
With an ever-increasing glory
I want to grow more in your Spirit
Ever more pure, healed and holy
You are the Word, Lord, may I live it!

Pre-Chorus

Chorus (2x)

[pian0dude]

Nice job Earl!

[MarkSnyder]

I like the vibe from your harmony. I still thinks the song's chorus needs to deviate more from the verse, and have some kind of hook added to grab you, but we can let Melanie think about that one.


Ok, here's a rough demo I've cut with left and right channel guitars and a bass track

[Guitarearl]

I live the vibe from your harmony. I still thinks the song's chorus needs to deviate more from the verse, and have some kind of hook added to grab you, but we can let Melanie think about that one.

Thanks for your comments! After listening to your arrangement a few times, I also have found myself intrigued with that one. I agree that your chorus has a bit more of a hook, but that's one opinion. That was part of the reason I decided to begin the chorus with the IV, because I think it accentuates the held note.

One thing that could help the track would be more variation in the drum groove. If someone came in and either did some custom MIDI editing around a loop, it could differentiate the verses and chorus.

Also the dynamics of the mix are pretty level, I didn't do any track automation to bring more guitar as it moved through the Prechorus and Chorus. I'd like to hear from Melanie and get her thoughts before doing much more with these tracks.

[WorshipVanguard]

I'm actually rethinking the chorus groove. I do like aspects of Mark's chorus better than mine. Please give me a few days to work with a woven melody between mine and Mark's choruses, and I can maybe post just a vocal recording of the new chorus melody, and we can decide whether or not the new chorus has a better hook than the original.

Earl, I may notify you privately first with the new chorus because it will change the chord progression.

Thanks, you guys! This is what collaboration is all about! I love it!

[Guitarearl]

I'm actually rethinking the chorus groove. I do like aspects of Mark's chorus better than mine. Please give me a few days to work with a woven melody between mine and Mark's choruses, and I can maybe post just a vocal recording of the new chorus melody, and we can decide whether or not the new chorus has a better hook than the original.

Earl, I may notify you privately first with the new chorus because it will change the chord progression.

Thanks, you guys! This is what collaboration is all about! I love it!

Sounds good Melanie. Just let me know once you decide where this will go!

[Wannabe a Worshiper]

With Earl's contribution, this is starting to sound like a real song. Can't wait to hear the final outcome.
Tom

[Lisa D]

Nice Job guys.....it's coming together nicely!!

[WorshipVanguard]

A few more people have jumped in to add some tracks. Here is a more refined mix. Thoughts??

http://kompoz.com/t/134828

[InHisName]

Wow! I really like it! I especially like the vocals and the harmonies. Your voice sounds really strong. I like the sound. Everything did come together really nicely...the guitar adds a lot. Great job!

[richjens]

This is great! Well done everyone!

[dantheman2]

Hi all,

I didn't read this entire thread until now. I didn't know there was this much collaboration on this song almost a year ago. You probably didn't think the song was meant to be finished THIS July. :-) Funny timing, my church's new sermon series is based on Romans 6-8 is about Transformation. It's a lot about turning away from sin and things of the flesh and becoming better people for God. Only through Christ can we achieve this transformation. I can relate to this!

Thanks for the feedback on the track.

Dan Grubbs

[Wannabe a Worshiper]

Took almost a year to get to where it is now, but Rome wasn't built in a day, either. The collaboration on this song has been incredible. I would surely like to see the same amount of collaboration on some of the other songs put on here.
Tom