TWCSW April: I Draw Near To You

[pian0dude]

Ok, here is my submission for April's songwriting challenge. I am hearing this in my head as an up-tempo song with 16th's on drums. I think it'd be cool if it was more of a guitar (acoustic and electric) driven song. This was something I wrote this afternoon. I'm open to any feedback, etc...I will work on posting an audio clip via SoundCloud once I have the melody / phrasing a little more worked out in my head.

Verses referenced: Isaiah 40:4-8, 26-31

Verse 1:
When I'm tired Lord
When I've lost my strength
Lord, I wait on You
You will fill my soul
With your springs of life
I draw strength from You, I draw near to you

Chorus (after verse 3, change to be WE/US, etc):
You will lift me up with wings like eagles
I will run and will not faint
You're the everlasting King of Glory
Creator, Lord of All

Verse 2:
I will lift my eyes
To the heavens high
Worship you my God
You are full of power
You are clothed in strength
I draw strength from You, I draw near to You

Verse 3:
Every valley Lord
May it be raised up
Every mountain be made low
May Your glory Lord
Be revealed to us
We cry out to you, We draw near to You

Bridge:
As the grass dries up and the flowers fall
The promise of Your Word will stand!
Forever and Ever!

[pian0dude]

Click below to listen to a very rough recording of the song.

CLICK FOR SOUNDCLOUD MP3

(http://soundcloud.com/pian0dude/i-draw-near-to-you-take-02)

I didn't realize until after I laid down the recording that it was a whopping 140BPM!!! I"m usually one to fall in to the norm of around 120bpm.

Interested in feedback.

[Wannabe a Worshiper]

I like it! Moves right along. Now to get some guitar in there... someone.

(I noticed that on SoundCloud, the words to the chorus are different than what you put on here, and sang.)

Let's see how this sounds after one of you adds some guitar to it.

[pian0dude]

Thanks Tom! I agree on the guitars! Get a some hot electric and a thumping bass guitar in there!

I modified the lyrics on Sound Cloud to reflect the actual chorus. Thanks for pointing that out to me.

[WorshipVanguard]

Brian, may I be picky?

:-) You can take it as a compliment. It only means, you're doing a lot of things right for someone to nit pick. :-)

[pian0dude]

I am interested in feedback

[WorshipVanguard]

First of all, I love your lyrics! My son heard the song this morning, and he wanted to listen to it over and over. :-) It has a Ben Folds Five feel.

I only have two nit picky observations:
1. The song seems limited in dynamics. Is this something that would change upon adding more instrumentation?
2. The verses and chorus run together. By that, I mean there is no breath when you go from chorus back to verse. So, it seems like the phrase continues. Is it possible to put a longer pause between phrases?

Hope they made sense.

[pian0dude]

Melanie,

If I had a prize, you would win it. I do feel that with full instrumentation dynamics will fall into place. The recording was done in about 15 minutes. My whole point in recording it the way I did was to get others creative juices flowing to promote feedback and collaboration. Yes, I am guilty as charged. Nice Work!!

[pian0dude]

Tempo:
Currently the tempo is 140bpm. I'd like to maybe drop this down somewhere between the standard 120bpm and 140bpm.

Intro:
Have a strong full intro mainly comprised of electric & bass guitars and drums. This intro would provide a place for a worship leader to encourage the body prior to starting the lyrics.

Verse 1:
I'd imagine a muted type electric guitar and acoustic guitar possibly playing the majority of music on this verse and at a level lower than the intro progression. On the "I Draw Near To You" the second time through at the end of the verses, all instrumentation would build up in dynamic.

Chorus:
Possibly a hard stop on the build up out of the end of the verses would be good hear and then everyone just rock out the chorus. I'm not entirely sure what to play for a transition progression between chorus and verse, but I agree and knew that something would be needed as Melanie pointed out.

Bring the dynamics back down for the verse again.

Bridge:
I think maybe cut the tempo in half might work here?? However, I like the thumping beat behind the "Your Word Will Stand, Your Word will Stand"

Well, those were my thoughts on this... I'm open to any feedback / suggestions others may have!

[pian0dude]

Ok, so many of you have seen me throwing the term "collaboration" out there quite a bit lately. Well, I think it's time we give the idea a whirl in the online realm. I'd be happy to try this song out as a test. Below are some instructions on how to contribute to this project.

Online Collaboration Site
I am going to suggest using a site called Kompoz.com. It is pronounced like
COMPOSE. This site is extremely streamlined and makes online collaborations very easy.

1. Join the TWCSW Group on Kompoz (http://kompoz.com/site/twcsw)

PLEASE USE THE SAME USERNAME AS HERE ON TWC

2. As part of the group joining process above, you will need to create a FREE account with Kompoz.

3. I will receive a notification that you'd like to join the group and will need
to approve the request.

How To Work On A Project
1. Once you have created your account and have been approved to join the TWCSW's group, you can click on the PROJECTS TAB to see a list of projects that are in the group (You can also add projects to it).

2. Click on the title of the project you want to check out and possibly
contribute to. For example, the song I've been working on I Draw Near To
You can be accessed HERE (http://kompoz.com/p/17350)

3. On each project there are a series of tabs that have different information. If you want to get started ASAP, click on the TRACKS tab. You will be given the ability to see each track broken out separately and can pick/choose which tracks you'll want to download to load in to your recording software so you can record your new track contribution.

4. You will notice on my project, at the beginning of each track, there is a
"sync tone". This is used as a graphical and audible way to line up tracks
submitted by various people for mixdowns, mastering, etc... You can obtain the sync tone .WAV file provided by Kompoz as well as watch a tutorial video on how to use it HERE (http://www.kompoz.com/compose-collaborate/sync.learn.music)

5. To download a track, make sure you are on the TRACKS tab. Once on the tab, find the track(s) you want and check the box(es). Once ready, hover over the TRACKS drop down menu underneath the Overview tab and select "Download Tracks". You will then be brought to a new page with a DOWNLOAD NOW button.

6. To submit tracks back to the project, go to the Tracks drop down menu and select "Upload A New Tracks". From there, it's pretty straightforward. I
typically suggest posting the RAW track of what you recorded with the sync tone at the beginning and then also a mix of the entire song with your tracks as kind of a "new version" of the song.

Good luck and Happy Collaborating! I seriously look forward to working with you guys on this. So, if you find that you aren't grasping the concept/site, etc.. please contact me for assistance.

-Brian

[pian0dude]

Ok, so many of you have seen me throwing the term "collaboration" out there quite a bit lately. Well, I think it's time we give the idea a whirl in the online realm. I'd be happy to try this song out as a test. Below are some instructions on how to contribute to this project.

Online Collaboration Site
I am going to suggest using a site called Kompoz.com. It is pronounced like COMPOSE. This site is extremely streamlined and makes online collaborations very easy.

1. Join the TWCSW Group on Kompoz (http://kompoz.com/site/twcsw)

2. As part of the group joining process above, you will need to create a FREE account with Kompoz.

3. I will receive a notification that you'd like to join the group and will need to approve the request.

How To Work On A Project
1. Once you have created your account and have been approved to join the TWCSW's group, you can click on the PROJECTS TAB to see a list of projects that are in the group.

2. Click on the title of the project you want to check out and possibly contribute to. For example, the song I've been working on I Draw Near To You can be accessed HERE (http://kompoz.com/p/17350)

3. On each project there are a series of tabs that have different information. If you want to get started ASAP, click on the TRACKS tab. You will be given the ability to see each track broken out separately and can pick/choose which tracks you'll want to download to load in to your recording software so you can record your new track contribution.

4. You will notice on my project, at the beginning of each track, there is a "sync tone". This is used as a graphical and audible way to line up tracks submitted by various people for mixdowns, mastering, etc... You can obtain the sync tone .WAV file provided by Kompoz as well as watch a tutorial video on how to

use it HERE (http://www.kompoz.com/compose-collaborate/sync.learn.music)

5. To download a track, make sure you are on the TRACKS tab. Once on the tab, find the track(s) you want and check the box(es). Once ready, hover over the TRACKS drop down menu underneath the Overview tab and select "Download Tracks". You will then be brought to a new page with a DOWNLOAD NOW button.

6. To submit tracks back to the project, go to the Tracks drop down menu and select "Upload A New Tracks". From there, it's pretty straightforward. I typically suggest posting the RAW track of what you recorded with the sync tone at the beginning and then also a mix of the entire song with your tracks as kind of a "new version" of the song.

Good luck and Happy Collaborating! I seriously look forward to working with you guys on this. So, if you find that you aren't grasping the concept/site, etc..


Please contact me for assistance.

[pian0dude]

Hi all,

I have posted a modified version. Below is a list of the items that have changed.

New Soundcloud Link: HERE (http://soundcloud.com/pian0dude/i-draw-near-to-you-take-02)

1. Modified some of the lyrics to be more scripturally accurate, after reviewing
the lyrics with my Pastor.
2. I added in a small chord progression between the chorus and verses.
3. I modified the tempo from 140bpm to 130bpm
4. I put a "sync-tone" at the beginning to help in lining up additional tracks
from others.

Below are the modified lyrics:

Verses referenced: Isaiah 40:4-8, 26-31

Verse 1:
When I'm tired Lord
When I've lost my strength
Lord, I wait on You
You will fill my soul
With your springs of life
I draw strength from You, I draw near to you

Chorus (after verse 3, change to be WE/US, etc):
You will lift me up with wings like eagles
I will run and will not FAINT
You're the everlasting King of Glory
Creator, Lord of All

Verse 2:
I will lift my eyes
To the heavens high
Worship you my God
You are full of power
You are clothed in strength
I draw near to You

Verse 3:
Every valley Lord
May it be raised up
Every mountain be made low
May Your glory Lord
Be revealed to us
We cry out to you, We draw near to You

Bridge (2x):
As the grass dries up and the flowers fall
The promise of Your word will stand
Forever and ever

[russhutto]

I can definitely hear this in a guitar driven, kind of a hillsong-esque rock groove too. Almost like the chorus of My Redeemer Lives. I like it.

I think I like it at 140 too :)

I think I'd throw in a "to" or "I will" before the 3rd line of the 2nd verse. But that's just me.

I feel like the overall feel might benefit from a dynamic, volume shift at the bridge, maybe bring the drums down to a four on the floor kick with a hat on 2 and 4 or something really simple that builds back to the chorus again. I know that's pretty typical but as it goes right now, the song pretty much just carries the same dynamics and groove through the whole. I guess that's more of an arrangement thing than a structure thing though...so it's not of utmost priority at this point, right?

Great job.

[pian0dude]

On the lyric...

"We will run and will not FAINT"

this was originally "we will run and will not FALL"

however my pastor pointed out to me that the scriptures don't actually say we won't fall.

I can't seem to get "faint" to sit well vocal/tone wise, etc... anyone have other suggestions?

-Brian

[Wannabe a Worshiper]

Brian, the scripture says "They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint." 40:31 NLT
Maybe "We will run and not grow weary."
It doesn't rhyme with "all", but it sort of rhymes with "glory."


You will lift me up with wings like eagles
I will run and not grow weary
You're the everlasting King of Glory
Creator, Lord of All

My 2 cents worth.
Tom

[pian0dude]

Tom,

I did review the passage and saw the same wordage, however, that won't fit in to the timing of the song at all... i tried a ton of ways to get it to fit... it just sounds wierd to me to sing "i will run and not grow faint". I'm also not overly huge on the need for rhyming in my lyrics... the fact the FALL and ALL rhymed was honestly a mere coincidence on my part.

[russhutto]

Is it that big of a difference to use the word fall?

I know the last time I saw someone grow "faint" they fell down :)

[nick98338]

I have added an acoustic guitar track to the project on the Kompoz site. Please let me know what you think.

Nick

[jamestoffee]

Hi Brian,

Sounding good. :) I like it at this tempo as well.;)

Suggestion: consider focusing the lyrics a bit on the title "I Draw Near To You"

Vs 1 seems to be a good intro to an idea of "as the deer pants for the water"....consider keeping that story or theme throughout the song...the deer through the wilderness of life dependent on its Creator....on a journey to draw near to God....

Verse 1:
When I'm tired Lord
When I've lost my strength
Lord, I wait on You
You will fill my soul
With your springs of life
I draw strength from You, I draw near to you

Chorus (after verse 3, change to be WE/US, etc):
You will lift me up with wings like eagles
I will run and will not FAINT SUGGESTION: I will run IN YOUR STRENGTH
You're the everlasting King of Glory..TRUE BUT DOES IT SUPPORT THE THEME?
Creator, Lord of All..TRUE BUT DOES IT SUPPORT THE THEME?

Verse 2:
MAYBE VS2 MORE ABOUT A JOURNEY
I will lift my eyes
To the heavens high
Worship you my God
You are full of power...TRUE BUT DOES IT SUPPORT THE THEME?
You are clothed in strength...TRUE BUT DOES IT SUPPORT THE THEME?
I draw near to You....HOW? WHY?

Verse 3:
THIS IS GOOD TO TIE-IN WITH THE DEER JOURNEY ANGLE
Every valley Lord
May it be raised up
Every mountain be made low
May Your glory Lord
Be revealed to us
We cry out to you, We draw near to You

Bridge (2x):
THIS IS GOOD TO TIE-IN WITH THE DEER JOURNEY ANGLE
As the grass dries up and the flowers fall
The promise of Your word will stand (OR LIVING WORD WILL QUENCH MY THIRST) idea
Forever and ever OR "AS I DRAW NEAR TO YOU"

James

[pian0dude]

Check out the level of collaboration taking place on this song over at Kompoz.

I Draw Near To You music collaboration project - Kompoz.com (http://www.kompoz.com/p/17350)

Thanks to all who have submitted thus far.

-Brian

[chipshot0701]

Nicely done all of you on pianodudes tune!

[jamestoffee]

Hi Brian,

I like the concept of kompoz.com so I tried contributing to your song. I uploaded the same rhythm electric guitar 3 ways "crunchy" "phasy" and "dry" (in case someone wanted to experiment with their own distortion plug-ins).

Unfortunately, I uploaded first and then read what you wrote about a sync track signal, so I didn't put one on. Let me know if it works or not.

This was my first time to try this.

I Draw Near To You Music Tracks - Kompoz.com (http://www.kompoz.com/compose-collaborate/list.track.project?projectId=17350)

James

[pian0dude]

James,

thanks for the contributions... I will attempt to mix some of that nice stuff in to the mix and see how it sounds. I can line it up for the most part so we'll see how it comes out.

I greatly appreciate the efforts on your part.

[pian0dude]

Hey all,

I have recently uploaded several mixdown versions of I Draw Near To You.

I'm sensing some sort of out of sync between guitars and drums, but I'm having a hard time figuring which it is. I appreciate everyone's contributions so far, however, I'd like to get everything in sync with each other.

Here is a summary of the mixdowns currently posted for review:

My Original Tracks & Submitted Drum Track (http://www.kompoz.com/compose-collaborate/home.track.project?trackId=83517&projectId=17350)

My Original Tracks & Submitted Acoustic (http://www.kompoz.com/compose-collaborate/home.track.project?trackId=83519&projectId=17350)

All Current Submitted Content Together (http://www.kompoz.com/compose-collaborate/home.track.project?trackId=83516&projectId=17350)

If someone could help me figure out what is not in sync I'd greatly appreciate the direction so I can have the appropriate person possibly record a new track.

God Bless & Thanks all for your help so far.

[pian0dude]

Hey all,

So after a new user on TWC (jamestoffee) posted his electric guitar tracks to my online collaboration project, I couldn't hear myself singing normal anymore!!! I"m not a rock vocalist, but I found myself moved to at least hang it all out in public and give it a shot... so let me know of this track.

Click to listen to it on SoundCloud (http://soundcloud.com/pian0dude/idrawneartoyou-april262010)

God Bless,
Brian

[jamestoffee]

Hey Brian,

Your "Rocker" voices is rocking! :cool: Sounds great! :D

>"I couldn't hear myself singing normal anymore!!!"
The only way I know to stop hearing myself singing normal is to close my mouth :mad: LOL:D

That's great you can adapt your singing to suit different genres, and your voice fits well on this song IMO

Thanks for sharing (Insert Smiley) [would have been a smiley here a message came up saying I am limited to 4 images per post...LOL]

James

[pian0dude]

Ha ha, thanks James! Glad you enjoyed it... how did you think your sweet / nasty guitars sounded?

I'm serious too... of there is someone that has mixing/mastering experience, please let me know and I'll send all the files to have it done more accurately. For now, I think it sounds pretty decent.

[chipshot0701]

Pianodude- I felt the intro was mis-timed just a little bit but it evens out after a couple measures.

I mixed a little here and there. Please let me know what you think. I used my lead guitar, the acoustic trak, the drum trak. Pianodudes keys, bass and vocals along with mightyjoes vocals. Threw in a break at the end that just feels downright natural to me right there.

Let me know what you think. I Draw Near To You - i draw near to you mikes mixdown april 28th - Kompoz.com (http://www.kompoz.com/compose-collaborate/home.track.project?trackId=83773&projectId=17350)

[chipshot0701]

i just listened to the version you have on soundcloud and it sounds great too!
I didn't know you had an organ track. dang....Could add that to my mix. perk it up a bit.