Frustrated and not sure what to do....

[cindinj]

if anything... other than continue to pray and wait. I've been playing keys at our church now for about 6 months and it's been such an unbelievable privilege and blessing to be involved again in music ministry. When I returned to my women’s bible study in September (they take the summer off), they found themselves without a worship leader and quite a few of the ladies recommended they ask me since I participate on the team at our church (the bible study is inter-denominational with a strong attendance from our church, probably mostly because it’s one of the bigger churches in our area). I really didn’t feel led to get involved for a variety of reasons:

No clear sense I should
Very busy schedule already
Don’t feel called to lead worship, don’t lead singing, just play

That said, they put on a lot of pressure so I agreed to help out until they find someone. Well, 2 months later it’s been a disaster. A few other’s have tried to step up, one ended up completely leaving the bible study because she felt so overwhelmed with the responsibility (we are trying to help her return), I went for several weeks with no vocalist and now a vocalist that doesn’t show up for practice and our timing is completely off most of the time.

I’m just at a complete loss and getting increasingly frustrated each week. We do 3 songs every week, which may not sound like a lot but when you are doing it all (choosing the music, making the overheads – yes, I said overheads and it’s OK if that makes you laugh, practicing) it ends up consuming more of my time than I’d like. I’m already doing an average of 3 practices and 3 Sundays at our church, which also requires a lot of practice for me.

The leader has actually told me they will just do worship with CDs (ugh!) if I find it’s too much. I have a lot of trouble being there and not playing if that’s what it comes to but… I just dunno. I’m hoping someone here has some word or words of wisdom for me.

Thanks,

Cindi :confused:

[twc_admin]

Cindi,
Sounds like it may not be what you need to do. God would be giving you the burden and passion for it ... and it doesn't sound like that's the case. They'd probably be better off worshiping with the CDs ... there are some incredible, interactive DVD products out there, too - that have worship with a band, lyrics, backgrounds, etc., (checkout the Integrity iWorship Series).

My tendency would be to encourage you to stretch out as a vocalist, and leave your comfort zone of "keyboard playing only" ... that's what I had to do ... but I wouldn't advise that unless you feel God leading you into that.

The worst thing that could happen is for you to be "compelled" into doing something God isn't calling you to do - just out of "necessity".

Just my $.02. Resign with grace and tell them it's not what you're supposed to do, and be there to continue support with your attendance, though!

[russhutto]

^
^
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What he said!

[inworship]

Cindi, I agree with what has been said. I'd only add one more thing.

Please do not feel any guilt by stepping down. Some may try to make you feel that way and that is not appropriate. God gives us gifts and time to serve Him and sometimes those things are not available for the task ahead. This in no way places any responsibility on you personally to get the job done.

It sound like there are some options to continue worship if they'd like. If they choose to do this or not, it is not your fault. Dedicate your time and energies to the tasks that you believe God has called you to and be comfortable with that.

[russhutto]

I also like to think of the different times in our lives like the seasons of the year. Props to ecclesiastes. Anyways, what I've learned in my short 30 years of living, is that it's ok to be at different places in different seasons along the way on our journey through life. When I was really young, I had the skewed idea that I'd always be a "youth pastor/worship leader" in a non-denominational church (just like my dad).

But here I am in a totally different life season, and I'm not even in student ministry, and I'm a media/music coordinator who may or may not "lead" worship at a very multi-denominational church....haha, I know, I know semantics, but we're very loving here!

Anyways, my encouragement is just to step aside with confidence, and if you have to, forcibly keep reminding yourself, that even though cd's for worship aren't quite as good as a live musician/singers, a worshipful heart is a worshipful heart!

There have been times in my past when I wanted to jump in and make a difference (serve) with my musical skills, but knew that I needed to "be" in my season of not being involved. It was tough. It also provided an opportunity for someone else to step up and either take that role and run with it or for someone to step up and be equipped in that role and run with it.

[lytesource]

Cindi,

Great advice from everyone. Here's a thought to put into the mix. Just because there seems to be a need doesn't mean there is one. In our Christian culture we have come to believe that we need to sing our worship before the meeting is complete. That's just not true. Perhaps the Lord desires a different approach to the time set aside to worship Him in a specific way.

You are aware that worship does not consist only of singing. That's understood here. At our church, we have gone for several years now worshipping the Lord in our men's and women's studies through a focused prayer time. You know, just worshipping Him with our words of praise and adoration. Proclaiming His praises without song. This can be a difficult transition because most folks usually focus prayers on their needs but, when the people get a hold of focusing on Jesus, WOW!... it is powerful and beautiful.

I realize that in this case you aren't the one to make decisions except whether you are doing what the Lord is leading you to do. I just wanted to give you another perspective, that perhaps the Lord is leading in another direction.

May the Lord bless you as you seek to be a pleasing sacrifice to Him.

[cindinj]

Thanks for the great perspectives as well as the thoughts about alternate ways for us to worship. I'm going to look into the interactive DVD idea, but the church we are using isn't set up so I'm not sure it will be a viable option. It's an OLD church that only does traditional (piano and organ) worship -- thus the overheads. Now that I'm used to serving in a multi-media environment at our church this has been difficult, too. I can't even get the woman who "man's" the overhead to switch to the next slide when we finish a song -- she keeps waiting for the piano to STOP (not kidding). I have to laugh or I'd cry, right?

I'm going to take some time to absorb these thoughts more and see where I need to be. I asked them today to go ahead with the CD concept until next month so I have some time away. I've found sometimes distance helps one gain perspective, too. Will I miss it or just feel relieved? When I'm not on for a few week at our regular church I'm truly hungering and thirsting to be back up there. I literally GRIN all the way to Thursday night practice after missing for a week or two!

Thanks, again :)