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View Full Version : Constant Battle part 2


simple_praise
10-10-2007, 10:36 PM
well, tonight it all came to a head...

If you remember from my other thread, we have been having problems with our Lead guitarist, his ego, and not serving the song but wanting to be the "star"-playing constantly, etc.

Well, we have band sheets that the Worship Leader and I put together to define parts for each person in our band..we have 5 vocalist, a drummer, a bass player, an acoustic rhythm guitarist, myself on Electric Rhythm guitar, and our lead player.

On a song last week, we did "Open the Eyes of my Heart Lord" by baloche. I did the arrangement and we follow the style of one of the recorded versions where the Acoustic Guitarist plays by himself, drums play symbols quietly, bass joins in and the whole band cranks up the energy when we hit the chorus. All is well in practice. Well, Our lead player, let's call him BOB, plays a "solo" during the quiet intro part of this song and proceeds to play lead licks throughout, over the top of the vocalist.

Our band leader called him out on it one on one , brother to brother. We've been working for months to get him to find ways to add accents to the songs as lead, by using unique voicings, etc. to spice it up, exactly what you'd expect (I think) for a lead player to do in a band with our configuration.

Well, tonight he shows up late for practice, doesnt speak to anyone really, and proceeds to not play a note on the guitar until we are 3/4 of the way through practice. He plays those few notes, looks at his watch, and proceeds to pack up his stuff.

It's time for our brother to be out of the band for a while in my opinion. I asked the band leader to step up and suggest that he ask the lead player to evaluate very carefully if he wanted to continue in the band in the right spirit. I was miserable during practice. With him not doing what he normally does in these songs, I had to step it up and play rhythm and add some interest all the while enduring the dirty looks.

It was very unfair of him to bring that to practice. If you are not in the right spirit, you need to stay home. It's going to come to a head. It always seems that he pulls some kind of stunt like this right before we are supposed to play out, and true to form, here we are...

Pray for all of us to do Gods will and to gently but firmly establish some boundaries.

milepost13
10-10-2007, 11:52 PM
it's amazing how one sorry attitude can bring everything down. This guy would not be back if he was under my authority...I actually would have taken him out of the room in the middle of practice and had that one-on-one right then and there. You guys are doing the correct thing.

Nate

mathnmusic
10-11-2007, 02:04 AM
Hate to say it, but the issue should have been handled long ago. I read something a while back from an old book in the "Mastering Ministry" series that said something like, "When the discipleship process seems more like parenting then you're wasting your time. That person is not mature enough to be in a leadership role." (my paraphrase)

Don't sweat it, man. Who did God place there as a spiritual leader in the worship ministry? Who did He give the authority to? Being a leader requires practicing spiritual discipline, not only in the personal aspects but in the corporate aspects as well. Follow that Matthew 18 process. Focus on helping them reach their potential in Christ. And when this sort of thing happens they should expect you to step in and provide spiritual guidance. If they don't like what you say to them then... well, like our Pastor to Students says when teens want to know what God thinks about their decisions, "Don't ask me to tell you what to do if you're just going to ignore what I said." Likewise, if they don't like your decisions or don't want your mentoring they don't have to stay in your ministry team.

As a worship pastor, I have dropped several really good players for these types of issues over the past 5 years. Each time I learn something in the process and see where I should have done it sooner. Each situation is taken care of a little quicker than the previous one. And each time the team benefits...EVEN IF WE HAVE TO ADD AN INEXPERIENCED PLAYER TO FILL THE SLOT. God's cool that way. He honors it.

simple_praise
10-11-2007, 08:21 PM
Oh boy, where to begin! The soap opera continues!

The long and short of it is that we have now engaged our senior pastor to help fire the volunteer as he is refusing to step aside. He is blaming everyone else around him.

Bottom line, his goose is cooked. We are cancelling our appearance playing out as we are not a good representation of Christ's spirit and servanthood.

Last night was the last straw for me, but Im not the worship leader on this one. BUT, I did call our Sr. Pastor after he started a dialog with our Contemporary leader to straighten the mess out. I wanted the pastor to have a bandmembers perspective

Fun, Fun. Maybe we can put Jesus in church once again! Prayers appreciated!!

worshiptheKing
10-19-2007, 12:11 AM
I am new to the forum but have been involved with situations like this before. It sounds like you have approached the situation appropriately.

Question:
How can he "refuse to step aside"? You guys have asked him not to participate and he just shows up, plugs in and plays. That's easy, have the sound guy turn him off!

Is there a clear cut defined process whereby issues like this are addressed. Sounds like the communication may have broken down a while ago. It might be worth looking into for future worship ministry "pre-involvment discussions". Almost like a disciplinary policy. Man, I hate that a ministry team has to even have something like that.

garyhodges
11-04-2007, 10:15 AM
So this all brings to mind the thread regarding covenants for team members. Often times, if you include a section that has the potential team member give a spiritual bio of themselves, you can be alerted from the get go as to any potential problems such as this and maybe avoid them altogether.

We once had a guy (a singer) who wanted to join our team. When asked about the importance of worship, he said something like,"I just think music is so important and I love to sing." He was a phenominal singer, but he was not put on the team. He was later caught up in some major ethical scandal in his construction business.

Whew!