[simon]

I've been meaning to start this thread since joining this forum a month or so back, but figured I should hang out first and get a feel for the place before doing so.

I have spent twenty years playing in worship bands in evangelical/ pentacostal /charismatic churches. The band Delirious came out of my youth group and I have been fortunate enough to be involved in a lot of amazing stuff that has happened in the UK over the last fifteen years or so.

However about four years ago I became completely disillusioned with musical worship. I noticed that a "good" worship meeting (often described in terms of the "spirit really moving") was defined more by a good choice of songs, astute worship leader who could gauge the congregations mood, and a band that sounded good. Indeed I used to play games in songs by seeing how many people I could get to raise their hands simply by dropping out for a verse (on the electric guitar) and then really building the dynamics when coming back in. Obviously I realised when it got to this point that it was time to move on.

I now really struggle in charismatic style worship contexts because I just can't get out of my mind that what people attribute to "the spirit moving" is in fact clever use of mood and crowd dynamics/psychology. In one sense I know that it's fine for God to use aspects of our biology to communicate with us, however another part of me cannot help but think people are deluding themselves into some sort of cathartic delirium which in the long run does nothing to practically help anyone once they leave the church building.

I really want to experience God in worshipping with music, but I can't quite convince myself that such experiences are authentic. I'd be interested in other people's thoughts.

Simon